Well, it has been a couple of days. I was sick enough to not do anything for 2 full days. I don't know that I have ever been that sick before. Or had that much taken out of me in such a short span of time. That virus was no joke.
I will spare the details, but it was an unpleasant experience that I do not wish to relive. Partly due to Trina having gone through the same issue the night before, we have decided to stay inside, stay quiet, and ring in the new year together.
Not the most exciting evening from everyone's perspective, but it works for us. I am just glad we are both feeling better. Neither of us is completely rebounded, but better enough that we may stay awake until the ball drop without medical help.
I suppose you are kind of expected to have resolutions and such today. I don't. It is not that I don't think we should do things differently in the coming year. It is more that I don't know that it should be about an arbitrary day we picked as the first of the year. You should just go change the things in your life you don't like, regardless of the calendar heading.
There are however, some things that we are going to address in the coming year. It is our time to work on them. Mostly they are about our faith and our spiritual life together and as a family. It all rolls back to that with us. This is our focus area. We have seen plenty of evidence that if we take care of our faith, our faith has taken care of all the rest. Grace is free, the rest requires work, investment, study and prayer.
We are committed to growing our faith together. And, part of that is also about dealing with the distractions to that growth. These distractions are things that impact all families, we are not unique. It is about dealing with your world life, so that it does not detract from your spiritual life. It has actually been our focus since we were married last year.
We have made progress, enough to the point that the things in front of us now can be about us. We have pledged to make time each week for us to have a date night, our time that belongs to no one else.. We have pledged to have time each day for devotions, personal study and growth. We have pledged to take more of our time off for us, to get away and recharge and rejuvenate.
While those don't seem earth shattering, neither did our goals for this year. We managed to get all the refurbishment done on the house, with a couple of small projects. We got all of our finances ordered together. We got the kids settled in their own places, and pursuing their own paths. We got most of our major medical things settled. I have to attend to a little something in January, and then we are looking at smooth sailing.
While full, frantic and at times very stressful and painful, this was a year of growth in our lives and our relationship. We are more in love than we were 365 days ago. We are more attune to our individual goals and needs. We understand each other better. What we have been through has brought us only closer. All in all, we did well in 2014.
Considering the loss and things that occur each year, I don't know that you should ever call a year a good year. Maybe that will never be true, that there are points and places that mark each of our years as something other than good. But, we were not made to catalog loss and struggle. That is the opposite of what we were created for.
So, I will say that the things that were painful were really, really painful. But the things that were joyous were more joyous. The things that were challenges were very challenging. But, the things that were blessings were much more blessed.
That is what I hope you can see in the year you are about to leave. I hope that you find the coming year to be a hopeful time, full of the brightness of the path forward of progress and growth. We hope that for all of you.
I love you all.
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Welfare rights
Michigan passed a law that was signed yesterday, to allow drug testing of welfare recipients. I have very strong opinions on this topic. I have been randomly drug tested as a condition of employment for the last 30 years.
No one gets irate that our military folks are drug tested and kicked out (not paid), if they fail. Why should it not be the same for entitlement programs? It should not be controversial that we test for illegal activity for those receiving government funds. This should not be the concern. The concern should be that Senators and Representatives and Governors are not required to be tested, with the same requirements.
In the states where this has already been enacted, the results were not surprising. There was really no difference in the percentage of welfare recipients doing illegal drugs than the generalized population. Some were, most were not. That fact alone ought to stop the histrionics that are guaranteed to come over this. I can already tell you Sharpton will appear somewhere in Michigan over it. Unless some other poor black kid gets shot, by someone who is not black, somewhere else. It will have to be a black kid though, Sharpton won't notice a dead Mexican kid, or a black kid shot by someone that is black. He has proven that over and over and over.
I just wish we would go ahead and have the real debate this is all predicated on. There is a significant segment of this population that wants rid of "welfare". It offends them, that there is a handout from the government. I hear it many times, "if I had my way, we would quit giving handouts, to folks that don't deserve it."
There is the rub. How do we decide who deserves it? My uncle is over 70 and has been unable to live on his own due to disability for over 50 years, and has received government assistance that whole time. Does he deserve the money he receives? Most people would agree with me, that he does deserve to have his best interests looked after by our society.
As a young married military man, we received food assistance and the government cheese. Did we deserve the help? I was working 60 or more hours a week in uniform, with two small children at home. We qualified and got the assistance. I hated it, I had too much pride to be able to just accept it, except that is how my kids ate. So, I put food on our table with that money, and we took it. Did my family deserve it, because we got paid so poorly by the military? Was that a reasonable justification? Or should I have just gotten out of the service and gotten a real paying job?
The guy that got laid off, worked for 15 yesrs at the same company, and can't find a job that pays more than minimum wage, even though he keeps looking. Does that story qualify for assistance? Should we have a safety net that makes sure his family eats adequately, and can survive until he finds a job that comes close to replacing his lost income?
No one wants to hand assistance to people that don't "deserve" it. It infuriates everyone, when we hear the stories of the relative few that embezzle from the government, and get improper payments. However, my complaining about it is tempered with the knowledge that I do not have the wisdom to set the "fair" boundaries.
It is not fair to my mind to give people assistance because they have kids with no ability to support them. However, it is not right to have hungry kids that we can prevent. That has always been the juxtaposition that concerns me about "welfare". We forget who is really at risk. It is not about the criminal activity of the few adults that are defrauding us all.
I did not receive aid for dependant children, which is what the program was called, because of me or my condition. I received that aid because my children were at risk, at my income level, of not having adequate subsistence. Had it not been for the children, no cheese for us. My uncle receives aid because he is incapable of earning an income of his own. Had it not been for his disability, no assistance for him.
We are going to hear a lot about "welfare". It is a coming debate, as we are slowing coming back to the Reagan era talking points about the poor in this country. Jeb Bush will pilot the way, saying it in Spanish, to make it more palatable. It will be all about responsiblity and self accountability. But, it will never explain how an 8 year is supposed to be self accountable, or impact the family situation the child found itself born into.
But, I suspect that the conversation will sour quickly. Because unlike the 60's and 70's that led up to Reagan, where income increased bountifully across the board, the 90's and 00's have not been so bountiful. Proportionally more of the population lives closer to the poverty line today than in the 80's. The latest recession put a lot of people in a dangerous position. Lots more people in the nation today are 1 paycheck away from disaster than Reagan ever imagined would occur.
It ought to be interesting. I want to hear about how all that charity should come from the private community. We have not heard that much since the late 2000's, as the money dried up everywhere. I don't know that there will be a creditable candidate that will suggest that. Probably not even Ron Paul would continue to say it, because it is patently ridiculous.
There is a need, a real, discernible need that must be met. The only agency with the capacity and system to impact it is our government. That is the reality. And perhaps, how God intends for it to be taken care of in America. Don't laugh, read Jeremiah, God uses secular governments for the good of His people all through the Bible. Joseph's brothers came to Egypt because of famine, to get "welfare" from the government.
Churches get defrauded all the time, and stolen from and lied to. Yet, none of the most ardent "welfare" haters suggest the churches stop giving, or test their recipients for drugs. That would sound as foolish as it looks reading it. Of course churches get lied to, and get defrauded. And it is reprehensible. But, think of all the other good that is being done. God will judge them. That is the typical conversation. I have rarely heard of a church trying to get it's defrauded money back, it doesn't work that way. Christ doesn't seem to work that way.
There are reforms that need to be made. I wish we would apply good minds to that task. Not social workers and the typical HUD experts and lifelong government employees, but real problem solving minds that are not programmed by the entitlement system. It is not likely to come about, any more than campaign finance reform, Social Security Reform, or overhauling Medicare/Medicaid. All political third rails, no stomach for anything hard has been apparent since about the last election Theodore Roosevelt ran in, at least in viable candidates.
But, before we get too far in the hysteria of how bad "welfare" is, I ask you to quietly consider my uncle, who literally has had 50 years of life with his family, not in an institution, because of it. I ask you to consider my young family, that had food for the kids, and was still allowed to continue a military career during the tough period. If there are justifiable needs, and we are not going to do the things necessary to fix the root cause of those needs, how do we ensure the weak and at risk are cared for?
Is it our responsibility, as healthy, able, contributing citizens, to make sure that we do not have hunger, privation and desperation in this country of such bounty? Is it our responsibility to give at church as well, to cover the gaps and the holes in the system that exist? Is it our responsiblity to remember that the folks around us are possibly on assistance, given the last few years economically, before we become vocal about it?
I can tell you that there are many families in that position, that you would never dream could be there. That is the reality that the Bush and Obama economies have left America. We are, all of us, responsible for ourselves, with an obligation to care about all of us. That is the American way, it is in our collective DNA and I can prove it:
We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
We even use the word "WELFARE". Kind of neat, how promoting the general welfare was important enough to be in the preamble of our governing documents. I think we can figure out how to do it, with a little understanding and some ingenuity.
More importantly to the Christians reading this, it is a predicate of our faith, that we are our brother's keeper. We are to love others better than ourselves. We are to do for the least of us, in secret, where only our Father sees. We are to leave vengeance to the Lord. And we are to cast the last stone, not the first. That is what I hope our crop of uber-Christian, conservative candidates for the coming election will remember, and what we can teach to our ultra liberal crop of candidates that are circling up.
I love you all
No one gets irate that our military folks are drug tested and kicked out (not paid), if they fail. Why should it not be the same for entitlement programs? It should not be controversial that we test for illegal activity for those receiving government funds. This should not be the concern. The concern should be that Senators and Representatives and Governors are not required to be tested, with the same requirements.
In the states where this has already been enacted, the results were not surprising. There was really no difference in the percentage of welfare recipients doing illegal drugs than the generalized population. Some were, most were not. That fact alone ought to stop the histrionics that are guaranteed to come over this. I can already tell you Sharpton will appear somewhere in Michigan over it. Unless some other poor black kid gets shot, by someone who is not black, somewhere else. It will have to be a black kid though, Sharpton won't notice a dead Mexican kid, or a black kid shot by someone that is black. He has proven that over and over and over.
I just wish we would go ahead and have the real debate this is all predicated on. There is a significant segment of this population that wants rid of "welfare". It offends them, that there is a handout from the government. I hear it many times, "if I had my way, we would quit giving handouts, to folks that don't deserve it."
There is the rub. How do we decide who deserves it? My uncle is over 70 and has been unable to live on his own due to disability for over 50 years, and has received government assistance that whole time. Does he deserve the money he receives? Most people would agree with me, that he does deserve to have his best interests looked after by our society.
As a young married military man, we received food assistance and the government cheese. Did we deserve the help? I was working 60 or more hours a week in uniform, with two small children at home. We qualified and got the assistance. I hated it, I had too much pride to be able to just accept it, except that is how my kids ate. So, I put food on our table with that money, and we took it. Did my family deserve it, because we got paid so poorly by the military? Was that a reasonable justification? Or should I have just gotten out of the service and gotten a real paying job?
The guy that got laid off, worked for 15 yesrs at the same company, and can't find a job that pays more than minimum wage, even though he keeps looking. Does that story qualify for assistance? Should we have a safety net that makes sure his family eats adequately, and can survive until he finds a job that comes close to replacing his lost income?
No one wants to hand assistance to people that don't "deserve" it. It infuriates everyone, when we hear the stories of the relative few that embezzle from the government, and get improper payments. However, my complaining about it is tempered with the knowledge that I do not have the wisdom to set the "fair" boundaries.
It is not fair to my mind to give people assistance because they have kids with no ability to support them. However, it is not right to have hungry kids that we can prevent. That has always been the juxtaposition that concerns me about "welfare". We forget who is really at risk. It is not about the criminal activity of the few adults that are defrauding us all.
I did not receive aid for dependant children, which is what the program was called, because of me or my condition. I received that aid because my children were at risk, at my income level, of not having adequate subsistence. Had it not been for the children, no cheese for us. My uncle receives aid because he is incapable of earning an income of his own. Had it not been for his disability, no assistance for him.
We are going to hear a lot about "welfare". It is a coming debate, as we are slowing coming back to the Reagan era talking points about the poor in this country. Jeb Bush will pilot the way, saying it in Spanish, to make it more palatable. It will be all about responsiblity and self accountability. But, it will never explain how an 8 year is supposed to be self accountable, or impact the family situation the child found itself born into.
But, I suspect that the conversation will sour quickly. Because unlike the 60's and 70's that led up to Reagan, where income increased bountifully across the board, the 90's and 00's have not been so bountiful. Proportionally more of the population lives closer to the poverty line today than in the 80's. The latest recession put a lot of people in a dangerous position. Lots more people in the nation today are 1 paycheck away from disaster than Reagan ever imagined would occur.
It ought to be interesting. I want to hear about how all that charity should come from the private community. We have not heard that much since the late 2000's, as the money dried up everywhere. I don't know that there will be a creditable candidate that will suggest that. Probably not even Ron Paul would continue to say it, because it is patently ridiculous.
There is a need, a real, discernible need that must be met. The only agency with the capacity and system to impact it is our government. That is the reality. And perhaps, how God intends for it to be taken care of in America. Don't laugh, read Jeremiah, God uses secular governments for the good of His people all through the Bible. Joseph's brothers came to Egypt because of famine, to get "welfare" from the government.
Churches get defrauded all the time, and stolen from and lied to. Yet, none of the most ardent "welfare" haters suggest the churches stop giving, or test their recipients for drugs. That would sound as foolish as it looks reading it. Of course churches get lied to, and get defrauded. And it is reprehensible. But, think of all the other good that is being done. God will judge them. That is the typical conversation. I have rarely heard of a church trying to get it's defrauded money back, it doesn't work that way. Christ doesn't seem to work that way.
There are reforms that need to be made. I wish we would apply good minds to that task. Not social workers and the typical HUD experts and lifelong government employees, but real problem solving minds that are not programmed by the entitlement system. It is not likely to come about, any more than campaign finance reform, Social Security Reform, or overhauling Medicare/Medicaid. All political third rails, no stomach for anything hard has been apparent since about the last election Theodore Roosevelt ran in, at least in viable candidates.
But, before we get too far in the hysteria of how bad "welfare" is, I ask you to quietly consider my uncle, who literally has had 50 years of life with his family, not in an institution, because of it. I ask you to consider my young family, that had food for the kids, and was still allowed to continue a military career during the tough period. If there are justifiable needs, and we are not going to do the things necessary to fix the root cause of those needs, how do we ensure the weak and at risk are cared for?
Is it our responsibility, as healthy, able, contributing citizens, to make sure that we do not have hunger, privation and desperation in this country of such bounty? Is it our responsibility to give at church as well, to cover the gaps and the holes in the system that exist? Is it our responsiblity to remember that the folks around us are possibly on assistance, given the last few years economically, before we become vocal about it?
I can tell you that there are many families in that position, that you would never dream could be there. That is the reality that the Bush and Obama economies have left America. We are, all of us, responsible for ourselves, with an obligation to care about all of us. That is the American way, it is in our collective DNA and I can prove it:
We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
We even use the word "WELFARE". Kind of neat, how promoting the general welfare was important enough to be in the preamble of our governing documents. I think we can figure out how to do it, with a little understanding and some ingenuity.
More importantly to the Christians reading this, it is a predicate of our faith, that we are our brother's keeper. We are to love others better than ourselves. We are to do for the least of us, in secret, where only our Father sees. We are to leave vengeance to the Lord. And we are to cast the last stone, not the first. That is what I hope our crop of uber-Christian, conservative candidates for the coming election will remember, and what we can teach to our ultra liberal crop of candidates that are circling up.
I love you all
Saturday, December 27, 2014
Memories
Nothing really helps when you have the icky bug. You know the one that turns your insides to fast moving lava, makes you feel like you are carrying 200 extra pounds and gives you pain in every joint and muscle.
Yeah, that one. I don't know why it decided to take up residence with us, hopefully it won't take up residence with any of the people we have so recently visited. I hate this feeling, and don't really wish it on anyone else in the world.
I sat here today, trying to remember what my Mom did when we felt like this as kids. Honestly, I don't remember often feeling sick as a kid. I remember the chicken pox, that sucked. I remember having the snotty nose occasionally. We kind of wished for fevers, because they meant no school.
We went to school a lot. I don't know if that is because we were unusually healthy as kids, or if I just don't remember much about being sick. I can't ask, so I have to go with few events to serve as a guide.
I remember clearly that fevers meant baths, which I despised. It was like being thrown into Lake Michigan in January. I guess it broke the fever, it was that or you were just going to die of hypothermia. Then it was bundled up, with about a quarter inch of Vicks VapoRub on your chest and a healthy dose under your nose.
You would then be swaddled, just like the baby Jesus in the Bible. This usually resulted in a complete body sweat, and a terrible coughing fit that brought up everything in your chest. I remember clearly as a child throwing away the VapoRub whenever I found it unattended. I hated that stuff. But, I used it on my babies, just the same.
I am not sure that I remember clearly what Mama did about nauseau. I don't remember having it too often. That was, and remains the worst symptom of any illness for me. I do not do throwing up. I just refuse. It is just the worst thing that happens in my body. I can tell you that kidney stones and the flu are the last times I had anything to do with feeling like throwing up. I won't tolerate it.
Until I don't have any choice, like today. I tried to remember, and I think Mama gave us Maalox for anything to do with the stomach. I really just remember chalky tasting white stuff. I think she hated Pepto, so I don't remember having that around the house much. None of that works on a virus anyway.
So, today I spent a lot of time thinking about Mama, and what happened when we got sick as kids. I don't know why I focus on that when I get sick. Maybe everyone does. You go back to where you felt best, when you felt worst. I remember getting sick being terrifying, I did not know what was happening. But, as soon as Mama touched you, the fear went away. I didn't feel better right away, and I still hate Vaporub, but I knew it was going to be okay when she was there.
It is not the same, when you are an adult. When that feeling is just gone, and you have to gut it out on your own. It is not as terrifying, I know what is happening to my body. But, it would still be great to be able to feel Mama put her hand on my forehead and tell me to hush.
I miss her everyday, but I miss that specifically, significantly, when I don't feel good. I think every adult wants their Mama when they don't feel good. If just to decide what to take and do, to get it fixed and better, they miss that connection and security.
We will do better, in fact, we are doing better already this evening. Not the most interesting post I have ever come up with. But, when you miss your Mama, you miss your Mama. It doesn't stop, even 17 years later.
Tomorrow will be brighter, we will feel better, and things will progress. Until then, I am piling on the covers and going to bed.
I love you all.
Yeah, that one. I don't know why it decided to take up residence with us, hopefully it won't take up residence with any of the people we have so recently visited. I hate this feeling, and don't really wish it on anyone else in the world.
I sat here today, trying to remember what my Mom did when we felt like this as kids. Honestly, I don't remember often feeling sick as a kid. I remember the chicken pox, that sucked. I remember having the snotty nose occasionally. We kind of wished for fevers, because they meant no school.
We went to school a lot. I don't know if that is because we were unusually healthy as kids, or if I just don't remember much about being sick. I can't ask, so I have to go with few events to serve as a guide.
I remember clearly that fevers meant baths, which I despised. It was like being thrown into Lake Michigan in January. I guess it broke the fever, it was that or you were just going to die of hypothermia. Then it was bundled up, with about a quarter inch of Vicks VapoRub on your chest and a healthy dose under your nose.
You would then be swaddled, just like the baby Jesus in the Bible. This usually resulted in a complete body sweat, and a terrible coughing fit that brought up everything in your chest. I remember clearly as a child throwing away the VapoRub whenever I found it unattended. I hated that stuff. But, I used it on my babies, just the same.
I am not sure that I remember clearly what Mama did about nauseau. I don't remember having it too often. That was, and remains the worst symptom of any illness for me. I do not do throwing up. I just refuse. It is just the worst thing that happens in my body. I can tell you that kidney stones and the flu are the last times I had anything to do with feeling like throwing up. I won't tolerate it.
Until I don't have any choice, like today. I tried to remember, and I think Mama gave us Maalox for anything to do with the stomach. I really just remember chalky tasting white stuff. I think she hated Pepto, so I don't remember having that around the house much. None of that works on a virus anyway.
So, today I spent a lot of time thinking about Mama, and what happened when we got sick as kids. I don't know why I focus on that when I get sick. Maybe everyone does. You go back to where you felt best, when you felt worst. I remember getting sick being terrifying, I did not know what was happening. But, as soon as Mama touched you, the fear went away. I didn't feel better right away, and I still hate Vaporub, but I knew it was going to be okay when she was there.
It is not the same, when you are an adult. When that feeling is just gone, and you have to gut it out on your own. It is not as terrifying, I know what is happening to my body. But, it would still be great to be able to feel Mama put her hand on my forehead and tell me to hush.
I miss her everyday, but I miss that specifically, significantly, when I don't feel good. I think every adult wants their Mama when they don't feel good. If just to decide what to take and do, to get it fixed and better, they miss that connection and security.
We will do better, in fact, we are doing better already this evening. Not the most interesting post I have ever come up with. But, when you miss your Mama, you miss your Mama. It doesn't stop, even 17 years later.
Tomorrow will be brighter, we will feel better, and things will progress. Until then, I am piling on the covers and going to bed.
I love you all.
Parental responsibility
I wrote a long post and deleted it. I am not going to try to be in judgement of anyone. But, it was about a story on the news here. Three or four teenagers were involved in a fatal shooting at a gas station.
I have raised teenagers, and I know that there comes a point in their lives where you just don't know what they are doing. They are old, mobile and worldly enough to be anywhere they want to be, regardless of the rules and instructions you have given them. I know that my teenagers did not always abide by my rules, when out of my sight. I did not pay attention to my parents' rules either.
So, my anger about the situation with the parents felt misplaced. Maybe I vented my frustrations and got to where I could think better of it. I don't know. But, I spent some time trying to figure out what I thought about the situation, from a personal standpoint. What if it had been one of my children involved in this?
I would have felt some responsibility. I would have felt like I did not do my job correctly as a parent. I still feel responsible for their actions, because I gave them the basis for how they are making those decisions and how they are facing the world. With that in mind, is it fair to hold the parent of someone under 18 at least partially responsible for the things that they do? Is it just a financial responsibility, for reparations, or is it also a legal responsibility?
I have an example of piss poor parenting that I drag up all the time. The two Columbine kids, whose parents allowed them to amass a small arsenal, build bombs in their homes and be obviously mentally disturbed, without action. Those are my text book, worst parents in the world. Yet, none of the responsibility fell on them. Is it reasonable to expect that parents are plugged into their children enough to tell when they are arming for mass murder?
If that is reasonable, and I think that it is, then why does the law not require it? In a less extreme case, is it reasonable to find the parents/guardians of teenagers out at 3:00 a.m. at least partly responsible for the mayhem committed by their child? The situation on the news was very familiar to anyone that watches news in Raleigh. In a poor section of Durham/Fayetteville (they are interchangeable in that regard), at a gas station, a man was fatally shot. The police determined four suspects were involved. Their ages ranged as low as 15, by one report.
Now, in North Carolina, at 14 you get charged as an adult, and are eligible for the needle. And, perhaps that is okay. I have not squared that away, but that is a subject for a different post. However, there is never a mention of culpability or legal responsiblity of the parents. I tried doing some research, but I am not a lawyer, and it is hard for me to tell what the law states. It was obviously written by lawyers. Lots of semi-colons; the mark of a cluttered mind.
Why is a child, on a week night, out at 3:00 am? Or am I wrong to consider a 15 year old a child? What possible purpose could you have in letting your 15 year old run around within this group? Because the part that no one will be able to report, because we "protect" the child, is that I am positive this was not the first criminal activity by the four participants. I would expect that this was not the first criminal activity for any of the 4.
These are terrorized neighborhoods, that seem to have significant numbers of these unsupervised, unaccountable young people, and a never ending story of violence and tragedy. And, when you do see a parent as part of the story, it boggles your mind that the child made it to 15. They do not know where the child was, they never claim they were home with them. Again, I am not trying to be in judgement, though it is hard. I would not believe it could be my child either.
But, what happens after that concerns me most. These children go to trial, as adults, get sentenced as adults, and do adult time. And, I am not opposed to that. If you commit adult crimes, you do adult time. But, nothing happens with the parents. Nothing happens with the other children in that home, to break the cycle. And, we have the audacity, the gall, to continue to act surprised that it keep happening.
We are at a crossroads, in my opinion. We are going to continue on our current path, and by default create a caste system in this country that enforces segregation along poverty lines. Or, we are going to change course, and impact the family unit in these impoverished areas, at a very basic level. We could break the cycle, should we choose to make it important enough to do so. It is not so hard as we make it out to be.
Unfortunately, I do not see the turn signals on, nor any indication there is leadership and desire enough to do something about turning in any direction. We should be ashamed, not satisfied. I don't understand it, and don't know if I am even correct in my opinions, but I pray on it daily, and on what I can do about it.
I love those kids, I don't know them, but I love them. And it breaks my heart that their lives put them into that position, that risky place, so ill prepared for how to deal with it. I don't want to continue to see them thrown away, but unfortunately, until the family unit treats them as more important than garbage, nothing we do as a society will impact it materially. If harsher penalties, more prosecution and earlier harsh sentencing worked, our news would not be filled with the stories we hear.
What I have to keep telling myself is I love those parents. That is what I have to work on, because I know that I blame them, whether I should or not. I put the fault at their doorstep, and I am unmoved as to their challenges, their personal demons. It is beyond me how you have a child and can love it so poorly that your needs come before the childs. I don't understand that at all, and I pray hard on it everyday, because I have seen it in my own family. I harbor anger over it, and I shouldn't. I have kept that grudge many years, and I fight with myself over it every day.
I love those kids, and I love those parents. I pray for them. Maybe that is all that we can do, with any assurance of success. Nothing in the legal system is working right, it is time we start focusing on God's system. What else remains, when all other hope and action is stripped away?
I love you all.
I have raised teenagers, and I know that there comes a point in their lives where you just don't know what they are doing. They are old, mobile and worldly enough to be anywhere they want to be, regardless of the rules and instructions you have given them. I know that my teenagers did not always abide by my rules, when out of my sight. I did not pay attention to my parents' rules either.
So, my anger about the situation with the parents felt misplaced. Maybe I vented my frustrations and got to where I could think better of it. I don't know. But, I spent some time trying to figure out what I thought about the situation, from a personal standpoint. What if it had been one of my children involved in this?
I would have felt some responsibility. I would have felt like I did not do my job correctly as a parent. I still feel responsible for their actions, because I gave them the basis for how they are making those decisions and how they are facing the world. With that in mind, is it fair to hold the parent of someone under 18 at least partially responsible for the things that they do? Is it just a financial responsibility, for reparations, or is it also a legal responsibility?
I have an example of piss poor parenting that I drag up all the time. The two Columbine kids, whose parents allowed them to amass a small arsenal, build bombs in their homes and be obviously mentally disturbed, without action. Those are my text book, worst parents in the world. Yet, none of the responsibility fell on them. Is it reasonable to expect that parents are plugged into their children enough to tell when they are arming for mass murder?
If that is reasonable, and I think that it is, then why does the law not require it? In a less extreme case, is it reasonable to find the parents/guardians of teenagers out at 3:00 a.m. at least partly responsible for the mayhem committed by their child? The situation on the news was very familiar to anyone that watches news in Raleigh. In a poor section of Durham/Fayetteville (they are interchangeable in that regard), at a gas station, a man was fatally shot. The police determined four suspects were involved. Their ages ranged as low as 15, by one report.
Now, in North Carolina, at 14 you get charged as an adult, and are eligible for the needle. And, perhaps that is okay. I have not squared that away, but that is a subject for a different post. However, there is never a mention of culpability or legal responsiblity of the parents. I tried doing some research, but I am not a lawyer, and it is hard for me to tell what the law states. It was obviously written by lawyers. Lots of semi-colons; the mark of a cluttered mind.
Why is a child, on a week night, out at 3:00 am? Or am I wrong to consider a 15 year old a child? What possible purpose could you have in letting your 15 year old run around within this group? Because the part that no one will be able to report, because we "protect" the child, is that I am positive this was not the first criminal activity by the four participants. I would expect that this was not the first criminal activity for any of the 4.
These are terrorized neighborhoods, that seem to have significant numbers of these unsupervised, unaccountable young people, and a never ending story of violence and tragedy. And, when you do see a parent as part of the story, it boggles your mind that the child made it to 15. They do not know where the child was, they never claim they were home with them. Again, I am not trying to be in judgement, though it is hard. I would not believe it could be my child either.
But, what happens after that concerns me most. These children go to trial, as adults, get sentenced as adults, and do adult time. And, I am not opposed to that. If you commit adult crimes, you do adult time. But, nothing happens with the parents. Nothing happens with the other children in that home, to break the cycle. And, we have the audacity, the gall, to continue to act surprised that it keep happening.
We are at a crossroads, in my opinion. We are going to continue on our current path, and by default create a caste system in this country that enforces segregation along poverty lines. Or, we are going to change course, and impact the family unit in these impoverished areas, at a very basic level. We could break the cycle, should we choose to make it important enough to do so. It is not so hard as we make it out to be.
Unfortunately, I do not see the turn signals on, nor any indication there is leadership and desire enough to do something about turning in any direction. We should be ashamed, not satisfied. I don't understand it, and don't know if I am even correct in my opinions, but I pray on it daily, and on what I can do about it.
I love those kids, I don't know them, but I love them. And it breaks my heart that their lives put them into that position, that risky place, so ill prepared for how to deal with it. I don't want to continue to see them thrown away, but unfortunately, until the family unit treats them as more important than garbage, nothing we do as a society will impact it materially. If harsher penalties, more prosecution and earlier harsh sentencing worked, our news would not be filled with the stories we hear.
What I have to keep telling myself is I love those parents. That is what I have to work on, because I know that I blame them, whether I should or not. I put the fault at their doorstep, and I am unmoved as to their challenges, their personal demons. It is beyond me how you have a child and can love it so poorly that your needs come before the childs. I don't understand that at all, and I pray hard on it everyday, because I have seen it in my own family. I harbor anger over it, and I shouldn't. I have kept that grudge many years, and I fight with myself over it every day.
I love those kids, and I love those parents. I pray for them. Maybe that is all that we can do, with any assurance of success. Nothing in the legal system is working right, it is time we start focusing on God's system. What else remains, when all other hope and action is stripped away?
I love you all.
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Merry Christmas
We have had a great Christmas. All things being considered, we have done very well. Mostly everyone is healthy, and most everyone has had the chance to enjoy time with the family.
We give thanks for that, and for safe travels to and from our visits. We got many wonderful gifts, and spent a lot of good time with family we don't see very often. That is what Christmas is about to me, at any rate. It is about the connections with folks you love and the time together.
But, I think that we sometimes gloss over the point of the season. This is a celebration of the birth of Jesus. I don't know that it occurred on December 25th. In fact, I will tell you that there is much debate about the historical accuracy of the account in Luke. The account in Matthew contains little of the information in Luke, surrounding the nativity.
But, the story in Luke is concise and clear. There was a birth to a travelling woman, whose family could not find shelter in an inn. They were in a stable, and laid the new born baby in a manger, wrapped in swaddling clothes.
This momentous event brought a visitation to neighboring shepherds, who were guarding their flocks, by the Angel of the Lord. This Angel brought good news of great joy for all the people. For that night, a Savior had been born. Then a host, a heavenly host appeared, praising God and giving glory to the Lord.
The shepherds went and found everything to be as the angel had told them, and Mary treasured these things in her heart. That is the extent of the nativity scene in Luke. And there is a part of it that I think we pay too little attention to, in our normal Christmas craziness.
Clearly, God knew the road before Jesus. Jesus knew the road before him. These angels that appeared and spoke good news of great joy, one might assume knew the road before Jesus. And, yet they sang glory to God, for the birth of a Savior. There was celebration that for us, the ransom to be paid, had been born.
When we struggle with the commercialism of Christmas, or the wacky idea that there is some war on Christmas, we forget that this season is about good news of great joy, and coming great sorrow. When we focus on the gifts, and the complaining that it is all about gifts, we forget the greatest gift ever given.
That gift became real and tangible, and on its way to redemption, when Mary brought forth the child and wrapped him in swaddling clothes. That was the first step to Calgary, and to our ultimate freedom by grace. This is the very first chapter of the Easter story, and it is both joyous and bittersweet.
Very little comes to us of Jesus' childhood. We get this story, a story about his circumcision, and then when we think he was about 12, a story of him teaching in the Temple. These are about the totality of Christ's childhood information.
We do not, however, compare it to our own situation very often. Luke is very clear that Mary was an unwed mother. She was Joseph's espoused wife. Though God can create the perfect child, to be the ransom of our sin, from an unwed teenage mother, we struggle to deal with it in our own lives. And, if you think that we do it well, I can tell you from firsthand experience in my family, that it does not go well, typically, with unwed mothers, even today.
They were homeless, vagrant travellers. That is not different today. As cold as it is outside, there will be people tonight sleeping on the streets and in the alleys. It should not matter why they need charity, for us to provide it, but it certainly does matter. We includes me in this one. I am guilty as well. "If you choose to live on the street, so be it." But, I know better inside. You can't help everyone, but you should try.
Shepherds nearby came to see whether there was an actual babe. They told stories of angels and heavenly hosts. Imagine Joseph's position. How do you protect your family in a barn, immediately after a birth, with this string of characters through.
There were no gifts in this account. There is just a story of a poor family very much like situations that are being faced today. There is nothing to be done to alleviate that hardship faced by Joseph and Mary. I do ask that you consider, for next Christmas, that story, and its relevance today.
Perhaps, for those people that you just do not know what to buy for, or what to get, you could make a donation to the food bank in their name. You could make a donation to the women's shelter in their name. You could make a donation to a ministry for the migrant farmworkers in their name. You could support a child overseas that is in need, in their honor.
We bought a lot of presents for a lot of people, so I am not condemning gifts given during Christmas. I am not even going to tell you we went overboard. We did what we felt able and comfortable doing, because of the joy we wanted to give. There is nothing wrong with that in my opinion, and I am not one that deplores the rampant commercialization of Christmas. I think we have forgotten the meaning of the season long ago, and that the amount of stuff is immaterial after that fact.
But, it is important to try to remember the reason for the season. I hope that everyone had a Merry Christmas. The heavenly hosts did on the very first one, so there is no reason I can come up with that we should not during all of ours. I hope that you filled it with love and family and good memories, like we did.
And, I hope that we all remember the totality of the story, and what it is prelude for. "Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me." Just food for thought, an idea for inspiration, that I have taken to heart as well.
Merry Christmas, I love you all.
We give thanks for that, and for safe travels to and from our visits. We got many wonderful gifts, and spent a lot of good time with family we don't see very often. That is what Christmas is about to me, at any rate. It is about the connections with folks you love and the time together.
But, I think that we sometimes gloss over the point of the season. This is a celebration of the birth of Jesus. I don't know that it occurred on December 25th. In fact, I will tell you that there is much debate about the historical accuracy of the account in Luke. The account in Matthew contains little of the information in Luke, surrounding the nativity.
But, the story in Luke is concise and clear. There was a birth to a travelling woman, whose family could not find shelter in an inn. They were in a stable, and laid the new born baby in a manger, wrapped in swaddling clothes.
This momentous event brought a visitation to neighboring shepherds, who were guarding their flocks, by the Angel of the Lord. This Angel brought good news of great joy for all the people. For that night, a Savior had been born. Then a host, a heavenly host appeared, praising God and giving glory to the Lord.
The shepherds went and found everything to be as the angel had told them, and Mary treasured these things in her heart. That is the extent of the nativity scene in Luke. And there is a part of it that I think we pay too little attention to, in our normal Christmas craziness.
Clearly, God knew the road before Jesus. Jesus knew the road before him. These angels that appeared and spoke good news of great joy, one might assume knew the road before Jesus. And, yet they sang glory to God, for the birth of a Savior. There was celebration that for us, the ransom to be paid, had been born.
When we struggle with the commercialism of Christmas, or the wacky idea that there is some war on Christmas, we forget that this season is about good news of great joy, and coming great sorrow. When we focus on the gifts, and the complaining that it is all about gifts, we forget the greatest gift ever given.
That gift became real and tangible, and on its way to redemption, when Mary brought forth the child and wrapped him in swaddling clothes. That was the first step to Calgary, and to our ultimate freedom by grace. This is the very first chapter of the Easter story, and it is both joyous and bittersweet.
Very little comes to us of Jesus' childhood. We get this story, a story about his circumcision, and then when we think he was about 12, a story of him teaching in the Temple. These are about the totality of Christ's childhood information.
We do not, however, compare it to our own situation very often. Luke is very clear that Mary was an unwed mother. She was Joseph's espoused wife. Though God can create the perfect child, to be the ransom of our sin, from an unwed teenage mother, we struggle to deal with it in our own lives. And, if you think that we do it well, I can tell you from firsthand experience in my family, that it does not go well, typically, with unwed mothers, even today.
They were homeless, vagrant travellers. That is not different today. As cold as it is outside, there will be people tonight sleeping on the streets and in the alleys. It should not matter why they need charity, for us to provide it, but it certainly does matter. We includes me in this one. I am guilty as well. "If you choose to live on the street, so be it." But, I know better inside. You can't help everyone, but you should try.
Shepherds nearby came to see whether there was an actual babe. They told stories of angels and heavenly hosts. Imagine Joseph's position. How do you protect your family in a barn, immediately after a birth, with this string of characters through.
There were no gifts in this account. There is just a story of a poor family very much like situations that are being faced today. There is nothing to be done to alleviate that hardship faced by Joseph and Mary. I do ask that you consider, for next Christmas, that story, and its relevance today.
Perhaps, for those people that you just do not know what to buy for, or what to get, you could make a donation to the food bank in their name. You could make a donation to the women's shelter in their name. You could make a donation to a ministry for the migrant farmworkers in their name. You could support a child overseas that is in need, in their honor.
We bought a lot of presents for a lot of people, so I am not condemning gifts given during Christmas. I am not even going to tell you we went overboard. We did what we felt able and comfortable doing, because of the joy we wanted to give. There is nothing wrong with that in my opinion, and I am not one that deplores the rampant commercialization of Christmas. I think we have forgotten the meaning of the season long ago, and that the amount of stuff is immaterial after that fact.
But, it is important to try to remember the reason for the season. I hope that everyone had a Merry Christmas. The heavenly hosts did on the very first one, so there is no reason I can come up with that we should not during all of ours. I hope that you filled it with love and family and good memories, like we did.
And, I hope that we all remember the totality of the story, and what it is prelude for. "Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me." Just food for thought, an idea for inspiration, that I have taken to heart as well.
Merry Christmas, I love you all.
Monday, December 22, 2014
Blessed Life
Perhaps the English is wrong, and I am sorry Mr. Pence, wherever you are, but unlooked for things come. In times of stress, or times of great peace, events unheralded occur. Sorry, it is Christmas time and just seems appropriate to use words with herald in them.
The event that ocurred to Katrina and I today was a blessing unexpected. The details are not important, but the series of events is. We have been working on putting our lives in order, gathering our rather scattered business. It has been a monumental year, as we are less than a week from our first anniversary.
So much has happened, merging families, getting all our varied financials straightened out and names changed and folks added, it has been tremendously complicated and time consuming. We have also completely redone the house, inside and out. With the exception of some more retaining blocks and some stumps, we have finished it all in this year.
At times, it seemed more than we could control, and at times it was more than we wanted to be involved in. All of that is just the day to day stuff that is involved with being a person in the US. You have to deal with bills, work, food. None of that is the important stuff.
We have also in this year, come full circle in one aspect of our faith journey. We started searching for a new church home. For good reasons, we were looking for a different place to worship. We spent a year, and tried many a different house of worship. Some were wonderful, some were not church. But, none were right. We got to the end of that journey by looking at what we were taking the journey for.
We did not need a new place to worship, we needed a new understanding of our focus of worship. We were letting too much of the world into our faith life. We were at the root of the questions and issues, and what we discovered was that the year of journeying had changed our perspective, and our minds. We went back to our original church, and it was a wonderful feeling.
Today, we had another answer to something we had been praying on, financially. Again, the details of the situation are not important, but the series of events that led to the moment are important. About three weeks ago, we had a long and deep discussion about our whole life. It was when we made decisions about our church, our worship and our focus.
We agreed together on where we wanted to put our time and energy. It was most certainly not in dealing with bills and balances and that crap. We have to do that. We have to be good stewards of what we are provided. But, it does not need to be, and it should never be what our focus and relationship becomes centered around.
We made a commitment to focus our energy and our relationship around our faith, and our faith together. We have tried to pray more together, we have tried to more openly share our struggles and our victories. We have decided that there are things in our lives that we just do all that we can and should, and leave the rest of it to God.
But, we have had to remember to do that. Once we leave it to God, we continue to pray about it, but we don't fret about it. It has been a remarkable time. Not that things just resolve themselves the next day, or the Publisher's Clearing House check showed up. We just trust that it will work out, in His time, to His plan. And we focus on us, and our relationship, without dragging God's problems around with us.
Well, today, at least one of the knots got untied. We were not expecting the outcome, did not even know it was a possiblity. But, all the same, it starts to close gaps and fill in the holes of our overall plan. We let God tend to the problem we gave Him, and He sent the first parts of His solution.
I know that some people would not view things in this way. There are those in this world that do not accept the concept of a creator God, an omnipotent and omnipresent force within everything, always. While I will do what I can to change their minds, and share with them the Good News, it is not my part to change them. I would not wish someone to try to enforce their religious system on me, so I won't do it to others.
But, I find evidence, small and large, every day, of the existence of my God. I see it in the skillful way He guides my understanding. I sense it in the love and peace He surrounds me with. There is very little on this planet that is of great worth, but I feel treasured by God. You cannot look at my life, and come to any other conclusion.
I am married to Katrina Hill and when I look at her, I know that God loves me. I am the father of four wonderful children and when I look at them, I know that God loves me. I have wonderful friends, I have the job I was created on this Earth to perform, I have a wonderful church family. I have no unmet needs. I have very few unfulfilled wants.
In all ways, my life is blessed. That is not to say that there are not areas of my life that offer challenge. I just got done seeing my 4th doctor in the last 2 weeks, and that pace won't change in the very near future. I still have not figured out how to get rid of the moles in my yard. I have to figure out how to get a whole host of things done, in what is a very partial host of time. It is not perfect.
Still, God keeps giving us our path, keeps showing us His direction and His guidance and His protection. We have left many things to Him, and He is faithful. We are very thankful, and very unworthy, and very loved. We are children of our God, and we live a very blessed life.
I love you all.
The event that ocurred to Katrina and I today was a blessing unexpected. The details are not important, but the series of events is. We have been working on putting our lives in order, gathering our rather scattered business. It has been a monumental year, as we are less than a week from our first anniversary.
So much has happened, merging families, getting all our varied financials straightened out and names changed and folks added, it has been tremendously complicated and time consuming. We have also completely redone the house, inside and out. With the exception of some more retaining blocks and some stumps, we have finished it all in this year.
At times, it seemed more than we could control, and at times it was more than we wanted to be involved in. All of that is just the day to day stuff that is involved with being a person in the US. You have to deal with bills, work, food. None of that is the important stuff.
We have also in this year, come full circle in one aspect of our faith journey. We started searching for a new church home. For good reasons, we were looking for a different place to worship. We spent a year, and tried many a different house of worship. Some were wonderful, some were not church. But, none were right. We got to the end of that journey by looking at what we were taking the journey for.
We did not need a new place to worship, we needed a new understanding of our focus of worship. We were letting too much of the world into our faith life. We were at the root of the questions and issues, and what we discovered was that the year of journeying had changed our perspective, and our minds. We went back to our original church, and it was a wonderful feeling.
Today, we had another answer to something we had been praying on, financially. Again, the details of the situation are not important, but the series of events that led to the moment are important. About three weeks ago, we had a long and deep discussion about our whole life. It was when we made decisions about our church, our worship and our focus.
We agreed together on where we wanted to put our time and energy. It was most certainly not in dealing with bills and balances and that crap. We have to do that. We have to be good stewards of what we are provided. But, it does not need to be, and it should never be what our focus and relationship becomes centered around.
We made a commitment to focus our energy and our relationship around our faith, and our faith together. We have tried to pray more together, we have tried to more openly share our struggles and our victories. We have decided that there are things in our lives that we just do all that we can and should, and leave the rest of it to God.
But, we have had to remember to do that. Once we leave it to God, we continue to pray about it, but we don't fret about it. It has been a remarkable time. Not that things just resolve themselves the next day, or the Publisher's Clearing House check showed up. We just trust that it will work out, in His time, to His plan. And we focus on us, and our relationship, without dragging God's problems around with us.
Well, today, at least one of the knots got untied. We were not expecting the outcome, did not even know it was a possiblity. But, all the same, it starts to close gaps and fill in the holes of our overall plan. We let God tend to the problem we gave Him, and He sent the first parts of His solution.
I know that some people would not view things in this way. There are those in this world that do not accept the concept of a creator God, an omnipotent and omnipresent force within everything, always. While I will do what I can to change their minds, and share with them the Good News, it is not my part to change them. I would not wish someone to try to enforce their religious system on me, so I won't do it to others.
But, I find evidence, small and large, every day, of the existence of my God. I see it in the skillful way He guides my understanding. I sense it in the love and peace He surrounds me with. There is very little on this planet that is of great worth, but I feel treasured by God. You cannot look at my life, and come to any other conclusion.
I am married to Katrina Hill and when I look at her, I know that God loves me. I am the father of four wonderful children and when I look at them, I know that God loves me. I have wonderful friends, I have the job I was created on this Earth to perform, I have a wonderful church family. I have no unmet needs. I have very few unfulfilled wants.
In all ways, my life is blessed. That is not to say that there are not areas of my life that offer challenge. I just got done seeing my 4th doctor in the last 2 weeks, and that pace won't change in the very near future. I still have not figured out how to get rid of the moles in my yard. I have to figure out how to get a whole host of things done, in what is a very partial host of time. It is not perfect.
Still, God keeps giving us our path, keeps showing us His direction and His guidance and His protection. We have left many things to Him, and He is faithful. We are very thankful, and very unworthy, and very loved. We are children of our God, and we live a very blessed life.
I love you all.
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Really sad
Two people died in New York, because a man with significant mental issues shot them in the head. They were sitting at their job, guilty of nothing at the moment, other than wearing a badge and uniform. This was a sick man that took this action, and it can never be taken back.
This is the crux of what is so bad about the things that are happening. Eric Garner's family wants justice for his death, and feels they do not have it. Michael Brown's family wants justice for his death, and feels they do not have it. Now, there is a family in Cleveland, saying they want justice for their son, and fear they will not get it.
Nothing I can say will make it better for the families. And, the sad fact is, nothing that will happen will make it better. Perhaps, if different things had occurred, it would not be as bad. But, there is no making it better, no alleviating the pain.
But, we have got to do something as a whole society. Consider the police officer shooting in NY for a moment. How many of those people that hit the deck in the subway station wished the cops had not showed up? How many felt like they were in more danger? How many were thankful the cops were chasing the suspect and that resulted in him ending the danger to others?
Ever wonder how many 911 calls have been made in Ferguson since Michael Brown got shot? Do you think any of those people sent the police away from the crisis situation because it was a white cop that showed up? Do you think there were many situations where people felt in danger, but decided not to call 911, because you know, the police are more dangerous?
It is pure tragedy that those two men died that way. It is even more tragic, in that these were both minority police officers. Whatever degraded mental state the shooter had, he clearly connected that the police are the issue, not the race of the police. Or, perhaps that was just the first car he happened upon and it worked out that way.
It is just really sad. The city of New York lost 2 officers. A woman in Baltimore was shot and seriously injured. A man took his own life. All this presumably around dissatisfaction with what had occurred in the above mentioned cases. It caused enough frustration in that man to drive him to murder.
Clearly, there were lots of things broken in his mind already. He had an extensive criminal record to begin with, in multiple states. Still, we have managed to ratchet up the national debate to the point that it is overwhelming the weak and fitful. That is a dangerous sign.
What is even sadder, is that there are no indications that we are going to do anything substantitive about what is driving this. Right, wrong or indifferent, action should be taken, and yet, there is nothing. There is no drive to do anything because it benefits none of the public figures involved.
Sharpton cannot start commenting on why people are letting their children wander around with inappropriate toys in public places. He can't question why someone is selling cigarettes illegally for like the 12th time. He can't publicly condemn the looters and thugs in Ferguson. None of those things are in his ability to address. That would then imply some responsibility within these communities to address the cavities and decay. He can't do that, because his money comes from blaming it on everyone else, and "helping" those who have had tragedy befall them.
We don't have a figure, a Robert Kennedy or Sargent Shriver, that can stand up and say the things that the governing body needs to say, like I am sorry, there are egregious errors being made, there are serious reforms required. No one has the stones, nor the gravitas. Maybe Hillary, but she will not. Maybe Bernie Sanders, but he is a Communist.
So, there is no channel that can create a path. No Martin Luther King Jr and Lyndon Johnson, who between them, controlled the conversation, provided the consensus leadership and vision, and drove bargains and progress that had lasting and real impact.
It is terribly sad that we have 2 dead police officers, in this way. It is terribly sad that we have so many tragic deaths happening in short order. It is even more sad, that this is not new or out of the ordinary, we have just discovered it within our national conscience and it seems new.
Most sad, is there is no one to step up and provide a path. No one to speak out and provide intelligence, leadership, hope. And, it is such a moment of opportunity, that someone will take it. If not a person with intentions for the good of the nation at heart, then someone with much more malicious intent. And, it will be even more sad because it is so preventable.
I love you all.
This is the crux of what is so bad about the things that are happening. Eric Garner's family wants justice for his death, and feels they do not have it. Michael Brown's family wants justice for his death, and feels they do not have it. Now, there is a family in Cleveland, saying they want justice for their son, and fear they will not get it.
Nothing I can say will make it better for the families. And, the sad fact is, nothing that will happen will make it better. Perhaps, if different things had occurred, it would not be as bad. But, there is no making it better, no alleviating the pain.
But, we have got to do something as a whole society. Consider the police officer shooting in NY for a moment. How many of those people that hit the deck in the subway station wished the cops had not showed up? How many felt like they were in more danger? How many were thankful the cops were chasing the suspect and that resulted in him ending the danger to others?
Ever wonder how many 911 calls have been made in Ferguson since Michael Brown got shot? Do you think any of those people sent the police away from the crisis situation because it was a white cop that showed up? Do you think there were many situations where people felt in danger, but decided not to call 911, because you know, the police are more dangerous?
It is pure tragedy that those two men died that way. It is even more tragic, in that these were both minority police officers. Whatever degraded mental state the shooter had, he clearly connected that the police are the issue, not the race of the police. Or, perhaps that was just the first car he happened upon and it worked out that way.
It is just really sad. The city of New York lost 2 officers. A woman in Baltimore was shot and seriously injured. A man took his own life. All this presumably around dissatisfaction with what had occurred in the above mentioned cases. It caused enough frustration in that man to drive him to murder.
Clearly, there were lots of things broken in his mind already. He had an extensive criminal record to begin with, in multiple states. Still, we have managed to ratchet up the national debate to the point that it is overwhelming the weak and fitful. That is a dangerous sign.
What is even sadder, is that there are no indications that we are going to do anything substantitive about what is driving this. Right, wrong or indifferent, action should be taken, and yet, there is nothing. There is no drive to do anything because it benefits none of the public figures involved.
Sharpton cannot start commenting on why people are letting their children wander around with inappropriate toys in public places. He can't question why someone is selling cigarettes illegally for like the 12th time. He can't publicly condemn the looters and thugs in Ferguson. None of those things are in his ability to address. That would then imply some responsibility within these communities to address the cavities and decay. He can't do that, because his money comes from blaming it on everyone else, and "helping" those who have had tragedy befall them.
We don't have a figure, a Robert Kennedy or Sargent Shriver, that can stand up and say the things that the governing body needs to say, like I am sorry, there are egregious errors being made, there are serious reforms required. No one has the stones, nor the gravitas. Maybe Hillary, but she will not. Maybe Bernie Sanders, but he is a Communist.
So, there is no channel that can create a path. No Martin Luther King Jr and Lyndon Johnson, who between them, controlled the conversation, provided the consensus leadership and vision, and drove bargains and progress that had lasting and real impact.
It is terribly sad that we have 2 dead police officers, in this way. It is terribly sad that we have so many tragic deaths happening in short order. It is even more sad, that this is not new or out of the ordinary, we have just discovered it within our national conscience and it seems new.
Most sad, is there is no one to step up and provide a path. No one to speak out and provide intelligence, leadership, hope. And, it is such a moment of opportunity, that someone will take it. If not a person with intentions for the good of the nation at heart, then someone with much more malicious intent. And, it will be even more sad because it is so preventable.
I love you all.
Birthday reflections
- We took the youngest child to the airport today for a trip to see her Uncle Scoop. It got me thinking about flying, and my history with it. I struggled with what to tell the girl. I have very conflicted feelings about the whole flying thing.
- Today, I have come to the point where I enjoy it, focusing on where I am going and what we are going to do when we get there. It has not always been that way. It has been basically a full circle.
- I first flew on September 10, 1985. I was 17 years old and had never been higher off the ground than the top of the Washington Monument. The flight was uneventful, but I think I will always have in the back of my mind, that I once got off a plane, and people were horribly mean and disrespectful to me for 8 weeks as a result. It leaves a mark, you know.
- I flew for the second time, home at Christmas. I had never been in a place like OHaire Airport before. I had been to the city, and in the Metro, but never in a place like that. What a zoo. I flew into National Airport, (now Reagan National), over the 14th Street bridge and knew what that was when I flew over it. Kind of unnerving. It was such a madhouse, and rush and nightmare, that whole trip.
- I got home to a world that was forever changed. My grandfather passed the day after I left for the Navy. I had not expected the hole in my life to be as large as it was. Again, I think it left a mark on my psyche, that getting off an airplane equals enormous and uncomfortable change.
- It was at this point, that I began to not like flying very much. I was not afraid, but I didn't like what it resulted in very much. I began to prefer to drive, almost to the point of obsession about it. I would fly home in March of 1986, and not fly again until June 1988. That flight was to Florida, to get married.
- We were doing fine, until we flew past Fort Lauderdale. I knew we had, because of the time. We had descended and circled a bit, but we did not land and then climbed again. About 10 minutes later, Billy Bob from Texas, the pilot, came on the loudspeaker. Seems we can't get this itty bitty landing gear lock light to light. So, we are diverting to Miami, where the runway is longer. The airline was sorry, but they would ensure we either got a flight to Fort Lauderdale or a bus to the airport immediately.
- I did not know what that really meant was they were fairly certain the front gear would not move at all. They could not tell from the cockpit obviously. Now, I have never liked landings. It is a logic thing. The odds of dying in an airplane are astronomically low, except as a byproduct of the plane hitting the ground in an uncontrolled manner. Lightning isn't going to kill you, there are no tigers or lions or bears to avoid. You know, pretty safe, except when in the unhindered thrall of gravity.
- We got to Miami, and every fire truck in the city was lining the runway, you could see it from the plane as we circled. I thought, that is pretty good, we have all the right equipment. The old guy next to me just shook his head and said they are only there to minimize how long our crash impacts flight patterns. It was not a helpful statement.
- The pilot brought that jumbo jet in about 20 foot off the runway and flew directly down that runway from end to end, for the ground crews to do a visual inspection as we went by. They were not looking the right direction, so Billy Bob dropped us down and took her down the chute one more time. His words, not mine. Not a helpful statement.
- Billy Bob said, nobody is sure about anything, so it is up to me, and we are going to give it a shot on the gear. I am about to climb out of my skin, no amount of Jack Daniels would have prepared me for what is basically my third landing in 10 minutes, but I had not had all that I should have tried to imbibe. They had told the families back in Fort Lauderdale they were foaming the runways and hoping for the best. TV crews were there to film their reactions.
- Billy Bob is the absolute best pilot that has ever flown a plane. That landing, that night, was the smoothest I have ever experienced. We only knew we were on the ground when he reversed the engines to slow us down. Never even felt the touchdown. That was just no fun whatsoever. I had learned to be afraid in a plane.
- The trip back was uneventful, or I was too drunk to remember the drama, as I got plastered before I got on that plane. Slept to Norfolk, and the stewardess had to help me off the plane at the end. I slept in the terminal for 2 hours before I could go drive back to the base.
- I flew back 2 months later to move the family to Norfolk, where I was stationed. I flew Piedmont, which does not exist any longer, thankfully. There was a huge strike going on. It never dawned on me. I was not happy about having to fly, but even with my normal rate of travel in a car, I could not make driving work. We had only been in the air about an hour when we turned and flew out over the ocean. I knew that we were not flying the correct route, as that is not how the flight lines ran. We started dumping fuel shortly after that.
- I knew enough to know what that was, and enough to not say anything. But, I started looking around the cabin at the passengers. I was looking for anyone of Mid Eastern inclinations. This was around the timing of tension with Libya and terrorist threats. I was military, so we were trained to look for them as the enemy first. I had no idea what I was going to do, but I knew I was going to do something.
- We came in and circled a city I was not familiar with. I had not flown much, so I did not know what cities looked like from above, but I had seen Fort Lauderdale before, and this was not it, and not the right city. We landed and taxi'ed as far away from the terminal as we could, behind some mound of dirt. The back end of the plane opened up, all the doors. Please exit by the nearest exit, and proceed to the terminal as quickly as you can. Someone said bomb, and then there was bedlam.
- Two things I remember clearly. I was a pure ninja, getting to that rear door. I can swear to you Jackie Chan would not have been able to duplicate the kung fu voodoo I was throwing down. And I still could not keep up with the 78 year old woman that had been sitting next to me. I was much younger, and in much better shape, and she beat me to the terminal. I remember she had on heels, and never even staggered.
- We arrived together, she went directly to the bar, and ordered a double shot of bourbon. I did likewise. She and I watched as the rest of the passengers came into the terminal. They kept us all in one unused gate. We could see the bomb dogs go through the plane. They pulled the plane up to the gate and told us that they would happily give us hotel rooms and connect us through the next day, or we could continue on. One lady asked if we would go in the same plane. When the stewardess said yes, everyone but me and the older lady started to go get tickets. The stewardess asked me why I wasn't going tomorrow.
- The bomb dogs had searched that one. I am going to sit here and watch everything that goes on, and then take that plane, that you have searched and secured, not some new plane tomorrow that might blow up on take off. The entire passenger line turned around and sat down at the gate, and waited to get on that plane. I do not think that anyone took their eyes off that plane.
- Those were my formative flight experiences. I would not fly after that. I drove everywhere, until the Navy sent us to Idaho. I drove cross country 4 times. I had to fly once for a family event, and it was uneventful, except that to get from God forsaken Pocatello to an airport requires use of Alaskan bush planes, and it was a horrible turbulence experience over the mountains. I know what it feels like to fall 1000 feet, and not be sure it stops, or you land in an uncontrolled fashion.
- I would not fly after that, until the Navy sent me to the Persian Gulf. I read all the touching stories about how the guys get upgraded to First Class, and how they are on real airplanes and stuff now. We flew on chartered jets that were 40 years past their prime, flew out of the industrial terminal, and struggled to have working heating and lights. I hated military flights, always have and always will.
- Then, once you land in Dubai or Bahrain, you get confusing instructions, and then you get on a prop plane that takes you to the ship. There are people who have arrested landing and catapault assisted launch on their bucket list. Idiots. Don't every willing let someone do that to you. I know the folks that do that for a living, I was one of them. Don't do it.
- All I can describe it as, is the Hand of God grabs you out of the sky, when you are landing. And then, when you are taking off, that same Hand throws you off the ship. Hated it. I am not a roller coaster guy, I am not a thrill seeker guy. I know too much of the physics to be comfortable with testing the laws of nature in those ways.
- So, I avoided flying whenever possible. The military flights got better, and I learned to time my arrival to avoid the COD flights with the arresting gear and catapault crap. I did not like it, but the family flew to Disney for vacation. It was completely nerve racking, because I know what my track record in a plane was. I had come to accept that a plane was likely to be the end of me. I just didn't want my family next to me when that happened.
- It was uneventful. All my flights since then have been uneventful, basically. Some delays, some turbulence, but nothing remarkable or out of the ordinary. I have come to relax and enjoy thinking about where we are going. I guess that is maturity, or acceptance. I have still not perfected travel luck.
- I flew to Denmark for work, and landed the day before the Icelandic volcano ended European air travel for days. I spent 28 hours in a bus across Europe to get to an open airport. What a joyous way to see Europe. The flight was fine however.
- I did not know what to tell my daughter, as she prepared to travel. She was really nervous, that is her way. I did not want to tell her it was nothing, because I don't know that I believe that. I just told her that I loved her, that the flight was going to be fine. It was. It will be on the way back.
- But, there is a long history involved with things that we do. It builds and changes. I no longer fear flying, to the point of needing medication. I still don't like things that I don't have control over, like airplanes in flight. I just have learned to trust in others to some extent. And, I have come to value the time enjoying the other end more, than the discomfort of how I get there. Better a few more hours with family or on vacation, than in a car taking forever to get there.
- I do know that I prefer to drive, but won't hesitate to fly to save my time and energy. I do know that I worry more about the rest of the family travelling than I do about me. It is nerve racking when any of them are travelling. I know that it will be okay, if we trust in God.
- That is what struck me tonight. I just leave it up to God, and go with the flow. Or I try to do that as much as it is possible for me to do.
- I love you all
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Just isn't right when she is gone.
My baby is home. I guess that is not so momentous, given the doings and shakings in the world at large. But, here, at our little corner of paradise, it is the biggest news of the day and of the week.
We are, happily, in love. We are happiest when we are together. It comes down to that, in the end. We enjoy all parts of our lives more when we are together. I suppose that you could make that assumption for every marriage. But, my experience tells me that you would find yourself wrong in that assumption, a staggering number of times.
I am not suggesting that we have some mystical secret. I am only stating that we are better together, we are happier together and we recognize that we are those things. Sometimes, I am sure that Trina is not always thrilled with what I do or say, but as long as we are together, we get through those pieces.
We are very thankful that her Dad is doing much better, and that we were able to get Trina up there to see him and spend some time with her family. I completely understood and encouraged her to go. I would have gone if the roles were reversed. But I did not like being here without her.
We have a beautiful home. It feels unique in that it is also portable. We are at home when we are in each other's presence. When we are apart, we are in a house. Even this house, with all of our effort and time invested, is just a house. When we are here together, it becomse immediately a home.
Understanding my feelings is one of those concepts that gives me the willies. I don't want to really talk to anyone about them, but Trina. And, I don't really want to hear anyone else's exploration of them but Trina. It is not that I don't respect their opinion, or that I think they don't have anything to add. I just don't like getting into that stuff with very many people in the world.
I do, however, understand my feelings for my wife. She is, specifically, the most caring woman that I have ever had the privilege to know. She cares very deeply, for me and for others. I respect that a great deal, as I care for her and for others very deeply. It is not easy, it takes a toll on you, but it is so worth it. And I appreciate and admire my wife by the worth she sees in others, and is seen in her.
When you find a person that is your best friend, your closest confidant and the person you admire most in the world, you want them with you always. It is that way for my wife and I. We are quite content together, very happy with each other, and look forward to the time we get together.
When we are seperated, it just feels off. I function fine, I am not going to starve or die of exposure. But the morning doesn't flow right. The routine is there, however, it doesn't feel like it should. The evenings are forever long, and don't feel as restful or relaxing. It is not uncomfortable, but it is not how I prefer things to be. And, I am self aware enough to know that is usually all about me.
Tonight, we got our home back. It did not move and we did not relocate. We came back together and restored our home. We had good news with everyone's health so far. She had safe travels for the long trip on the road. And she had good times with family while she was visiting. There are always reasons for these seperations. They are short and infrequent.
But, I don't like them one bit. I am glad it is over, and I am even more happy that everything is working out like we wanted it to, and she could return quickly. Tomorrow, we will gather as much of the family as we can together, and do Christmas before we get on the road and do some more travelling. The best part of that, is it will be travelling together.
I love her, and just don't live right without her. And I love you all.
We are, happily, in love. We are happiest when we are together. It comes down to that, in the end. We enjoy all parts of our lives more when we are together. I suppose that you could make that assumption for every marriage. But, my experience tells me that you would find yourself wrong in that assumption, a staggering number of times.
I am not suggesting that we have some mystical secret. I am only stating that we are better together, we are happier together and we recognize that we are those things. Sometimes, I am sure that Trina is not always thrilled with what I do or say, but as long as we are together, we get through those pieces.
We are very thankful that her Dad is doing much better, and that we were able to get Trina up there to see him and spend some time with her family. I completely understood and encouraged her to go. I would have gone if the roles were reversed. But I did not like being here without her.
We have a beautiful home. It feels unique in that it is also portable. We are at home when we are in each other's presence. When we are apart, we are in a house. Even this house, with all of our effort and time invested, is just a house. When we are here together, it becomse immediately a home.
Understanding my feelings is one of those concepts that gives me the willies. I don't want to really talk to anyone about them, but Trina. And, I don't really want to hear anyone else's exploration of them but Trina. It is not that I don't respect their opinion, or that I think they don't have anything to add. I just don't like getting into that stuff with very many people in the world.
I do, however, understand my feelings for my wife. She is, specifically, the most caring woman that I have ever had the privilege to know. She cares very deeply, for me and for others. I respect that a great deal, as I care for her and for others very deeply. It is not easy, it takes a toll on you, but it is so worth it. And I appreciate and admire my wife by the worth she sees in others, and is seen in her.
When you find a person that is your best friend, your closest confidant and the person you admire most in the world, you want them with you always. It is that way for my wife and I. We are quite content together, very happy with each other, and look forward to the time we get together.
When we are seperated, it just feels off. I function fine, I am not going to starve or die of exposure. But the morning doesn't flow right. The routine is there, however, it doesn't feel like it should. The evenings are forever long, and don't feel as restful or relaxing. It is not uncomfortable, but it is not how I prefer things to be. And, I am self aware enough to know that is usually all about me.
Tonight, we got our home back. It did not move and we did not relocate. We came back together and restored our home. We had good news with everyone's health so far. She had safe travels for the long trip on the road. And she had good times with family while she was visiting. There are always reasons for these seperations. They are short and infrequent.
But, I don't like them one bit. I am glad it is over, and I am even more happy that everything is working out like we wanted it to, and she could return quickly. Tomorrow, we will gather as much of the family as we can together, and do Christmas before we get on the road and do some more travelling. The best part of that, is it will be travelling together.
I love her, and just don't live right without her. And I love you all.
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
News is new today
A couple of things really got my attention today in the news. I have been running non-stop, and I don't have any kind of automatic notifications on the news, as I get distracted easily. I catch whatever is on the TV in the break room at work, as I walk by.
As such, I am much more familiar with which ambulance chaser has sued over the most recent malfunctioning medical device, than I am with most current events. I catch commercials way more often than content. That also helps me stay focused and work on work, so it is okay by me.
When I got home, I turned on the local news. There were several reports that were momentous to me, for vastly different reasons, but related at the core. It doesn't happen very often for me, and it put some thoughts in my head that I wanted to share.
We are restoring diplomatic relations with Cuba. Now, I joined the Navy at 17 for money, I will be bluntly obvious about the prime motivator. But, also because Ronald Reagan made me convinced I owed some work in the mission of killing Commies for the good of the world. I was a very hot Cold War-rior. Hated the Russian, even though we called them Soviets, and not much has changed there, but Cuba offended the jingo American soul that I possessed.
I say all of that, as proof positive of my bona fides as a tried and true patriot, convinced our federal republic with shades of democracy is the most advanced and worthwhile system of government that humans have yet created. I reenlisted 4 times total, so I never lost that patriotism and have not lost it yet. However, my attitude towards Cuba has changed.
I have come to be very confused as to what purpose the continued enforced isolation and embargo is. Why do we care if they continue to cling to some socialist/communist form of government. They are an order of magnitude better players, actors and neighbors than almost any of the -stan countries, any of the puppet states surrounding China, or Columbia. Honestly, there are at least 20 countries I can think of that are much more potentially dangerous, much more vocal about that danger and much more economically capable of being a threat to us than Cuba.
Why did we continue to care so deeply, so long after it was clearly apparent that they were almost incapable of being any kind of meaningful threat, so long after the Berlin Wall and the Soviet empire died, so long after it was actually relevant? Because they don't treat their people right. It is not any more complicated than that, and at the same time so much more complex than any simple statement. I will come back to this.
The other news item that really struck me was that Sony has declined to release their film The Interview. I have several rants about this film, but I spent a huge chunk of my adult life defending the right to be stupid, publicly, loudly and with gusto. It is a freedom guaranteed in our society.
That does not guarantee it in other societies. And it has been a source of confusion to our citizens and allies, because we seem to project our freedoms on other societies, and feel put upon when it is not there to find. It was properly stupid of Sony to do what they did, tweaking that society in the way that they did. Our society allows that, you can be stupid, really publicly and spectacularly.
Sony made the right call. It would have been too risky to continue with the release and basically dare a country that built a nuclear weapon, even in the absence of any method of delivering it outside of their borders. Think about that statement, a nuclear weapon with no way to do anything but blow it up in your own country. These are not people that are in my list of go mess with. Just not worth it. Stupid at that level will eventually interbreed and starve itself into oblivion, just keep the land mines active in the DMZ, and China on at least civil terms.
Then the remarks, "Cowardly" "Our right" "Only a movie" "not afraid." Morons. You should be afraid. Stupid people are dangerous. They don't have things other people rely on to navigate the world. Restraint, propriety, context, big picture awareness, these are challenges for stupid people. Sony, as a whole, very dangerous. Stupid people.
North Korea has some justification for its feelings of anger. I am not justifying or in any way defending North Korea's government's actions or history. However, it is a nation led by a leader that got picked by their standards, however foolish they may be. It is not funny to talk about assassinating a nation's leader. It just isn't. In fact, we ought to be a bit more offended about Sony, and the actors, and the premise.
I don't deny their right to say it, film it, etc. I support it. But, because we treat our people right and let them have their stupid time, we need to recognize and be prepared for the rest of the world that does not. We have not had an ambassador in Cuba for decades because they do not treat their people right. It is important.
This movie will not make us treat our people right, nor will it make North Korea do it. It will actually do the opposite, and create a sham reason for the internal justification that gets fed to their people as to why they fight the world. There is no higher moral cause that made this movie urgent or important.
But we treat our people right, and we let them be offensive, stupid and vapid. All guaranteed, as part of citizenship. North Korea does not treat its people right, and does not act right. It forces us to make decisions that limit our enjoyment of freedom to compensate for their crazy.
That was true of Cuba as well. But the difference is that we see change evident in Cuba. We see the foundations of what is coming and we are willing to invest in that, ahead of fully realizing those hopes and expectations. That investment in hope will ceratinly drive the conversation in Cuba in a better direcion, with more energy. It is a win for both countries, and for future diplomacy in all of Cenntral America.
The Interview will eventually come out in theatres. Sony may decide to release it on Easter, that would be about right for this fiasco. It will not do anything but drive the exchange of dollars here. A lot of people associated with it, will eventually have better moments, better decisions about where to exercise their talents and skills.
I hope that the day comes we establish diplomatic realtions with North Korea. But, I am encouraged that it will be about treating their people right, and an investment in seeing that come to be the norm there. I suspect it may happen after I am gone from this world, but I pray it does, because of what that means for so many people there.
Lots of encouragement to me today in the news. Maybe both stories encourage me. There is still a path to investment in doing right by people and there is still a process that checks stupidity, even at global corporation stupidity levels. If it had not been for the three murders being investigated, I might have enjoyed watching the news.
I love you all.
As such, I am much more familiar with which ambulance chaser has sued over the most recent malfunctioning medical device, than I am with most current events. I catch commercials way more often than content. That also helps me stay focused and work on work, so it is okay by me.
When I got home, I turned on the local news. There were several reports that were momentous to me, for vastly different reasons, but related at the core. It doesn't happen very often for me, and it put some thoughts in my head that I wanted to share.
We are restoring diplomatic relations with Cuba. Now, I joined the Navy at 17 for money, I will be bluntly obvious about the prime motivator. But, also because Ronald Reagan made me convinced I owed some work in the mission of killing Commies for the good of the world. I was a very hot Cold War-rior. Hated the Russian, even though we called them Soviets, and not much has changed there, but Cuba offended the jingo American soul that I possessed.
I say all of that, as proof positive of my bona fides as a tried and true patriot, convinced our federal republic with shades of democracy is the most advanced and worthwhile system of government that humans have yet created. I reenlisted 4 times total, so I never lost that patriotism and have not lost it yet. However, my attitude towards Cuba has changed.
I have come to be very confused as to what purpose the continued enforced isolation and embargo is. Why do we care if they continue to cling to some socialist/communist form of government. They are an order of magnitude better players, actors and neighbors than almost any of the -stan countries, any of the puppet states surrounding China, or Columbia. Honestly, there are at least 20 countries I can think of that are much more potentially dangerous, much more vocal about that danger and much more economically capable of being a threat to us than Cuba.
Why did we continue to care so deeply, so long after it was clearly apparent that they were almost incapable of being any kind of meaningful threat, so long after the Berlin Wall and the Soviet empire died, so long after it was actually relevant? Because they don't treat their people right. It is not any more complicated than that, and at the same time so much more complex than any simple statement. I will come back to this.
The other news item that really struck me was that Sony has declined to release their film The Interview. I have several rants about this film, but I spent a huge chunk of my adult life defending the right to be stupid, publicly, loudly and with gusto. It is a freedom guaranteed in our society.
That does not guarantee it in other societies. And it has been a source of confusion to our citizens and allies, because we seem to project our freedoms on other societies, and feel put upon when it is not there to find. It was properly stupid of Sony to do what they did, tweaking that society in the way that they did. Our society allows that, you can be stupid, really publicly and spectacularly.
Sony made the right call. It would have been too risky to continue with the release and basically dare a country that built a nuclear weapon, even in the absence of any method of delivering it outside of their borders. Think about that statement, a nuclear weapon with no way to do anything but blow it up in your own country. These are not people that are in my list of go mess with. Just not worth it. Stupid at that level will eventually interbreed and starve itself into oblivion, just keep the land mines active in the DMZ, and China on at least civil terms.
Then the remarks, "Cowardly" "Our right" "Only a movie" "not afraid." Morons. You should be afraid. Stupid people are dangerous. They don't have things other people rely on to navigate the world. Restraint, propriety, context, big picture awareness, these are challenges for stupid people. Sony, as a whole, very dangerous. Stupid people.
North Korea has some justification for its feelings of anger. I am not justifying or in any way defending North Korea's government's actions or history. However, it is a nation led by a leader that got picked by their standards, however foolish they may be. It is not funny to talk about assassinating a nation's leader. It just isn't. In fact, we ought to be a bit more offended about Sony, and the actors, and the premise.
I don't deny their right to say it, film it, etc. I support it. But, because we treat our people right and let them have their stupid time, we need to recognize and be prepared for the rest of the world that does not. We have not had an ambassador in Cuba for decades because they do not treat their people right. It is important.
This movie will not make us treat our people right, nor will it make North Korea do it. It will actually do the opposite, and create a sham reason for the internal justification that gets fed to their people as to why they fight the world. There is no higher moral cause that made this movie urgent or important.
But we treat our people right, and we let them be offensive, stupid and vapid. All guaranteed, as part of citizenship. North Korea does not treat its people right, and does not act right. It forces us to make decisions that limit our enjoyment of freedom to compensate for their crazy.
That was true of Cuba as well. But the difference is that we see change evident in Cuba. We see the foundations of what is coming and we are willing to invest in that, ahead of fully realizing those hopes and expectations. That investment in hope will ceratinly drive the conversation in Cuba in a better direcion, with more energy. It is a win for both countries, and for future diplomacy in all of Cenntral America.
The Interview will eventually come out in theatres. Sony may decide to release it on Easter, that would be about right for this fiasco. It will not do anything but drive the exchange of dollars here. A lot of people associated with it, will eventually have better moments, better decisions about where to exercise their talents and skills.
I hope that the day comes we establish diplomatic realtions with North Korea. But, I am encouraged that it will be about treating their people right, and an investment in seeing that come to be the norm there. I suspect it may happen after I am gone from this world, but I pray it does, because of what that means for so many people there.
Lots of encouragement to me today in the news. Maybe both stories encourage me. There is still a path to investment in doing right by people and there is still a process that checks stupidity, even at global corporation stupidity levels. If it had not been for the three murders being investigated, I might have enjoyed watching the news.
I love you all.
Monday, December 15, 2014
Cops are civilians
Pet peeve post tonight. I will try not to have too much vigor in my assertions. But, after more than 21 years in a military uniform, and more than 7 years of my life spent underway on a warship away from my family, months at a time, let me be very clear about Joe's viewpoint.
Cops are civilians. They have a special job, they have special obligations and restrictions, they were uniforms, they have guns. They have badges, handcuffs, specially painted cars, cool radio communications and stuff. What they do not have is a constitutional role as a member of the military.
They do not solemnly swear that they will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that they will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that they will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over them, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help them God.
They take oaths, they mean them, they provide a needed and very valuable and honorable service to the nation. There is nothing less important about being a police officer than being a military service member. However, there is nothing identical about it either. There are clauses in the Constitution that preclude use of the military as a policing force. The military does not have arrest and warrant powers. Until martial law is declared, the military may not utilize their weapons or force against citizens of the nation.
The reason that this sets me off so significantly is that I keep hearing we need civilian control of the police. We have it, they are all civilians. A healthy chunk of them are veterans, former military. Ask any police officer who was a Marine, if their fellow officers are therefor Marines. Be prepared for quite the response. It is not the possession of a gun and uniform that makes you part of the military. It is oaths, it is tradition, it is responsibilities and Constitutional duties and authority.
The conglomeration of "concerned" citizens that succeeded in moving forward some racial profiling legislation today utilized this poorly informed tripe of an excuse as to why their legislation is important. Looking into the camera, this middle aged gentleman claimed in ominous tones that the injustice that is occurring is because of the lack of civilian control of the police. We, here in North Carolina, have obviously abrogated the Constitution and found some way to do something expressly prohibited. Not.
What we have done all across the nation, is provide our policing agencies with militarized weapons. Terre Haute police probably have a tank. My guess is that the New York police force probably has a stash of weaponry that rival the French. Definitely more likely to use it to win than the French as well. It is a mistake. Not that the police do not deserve the ability to compete with weapons of the criminals, that is not a mistake. That we choose to do it by refusing to do anything to control the proliferation of militarized weapons in the citizenry, that is a mistake. No one needs an AR15.
I do not disagree that citizens have the right to bear and possess arms. I do, personally. I supported and defended that right for more than 21 years. I don't need a machine gun. I don't need a suppressed, fully automated .50 calibre sniper's rifle. I don't need a grenade launcher. I don't need a mortar. The arguments that anyone does are absurd and just plain ridiculous. But, instead of taking a common sense stand, and limiting these things as a first step, we have tried to hand out more of them to the cops.
I have several cops in my family. These are good folks, that I love, that I pray for, that I worry about. They have families and responsibilities and experiences. Just like all the current active duty military people I have in my family, or know very well from having served with them. The difference between them is a whole world of training and expectation. We should not ask our police to deal with civilian issues, civilian risks, and civilian realities with military tools. And we should not expect that their leaders, civilians as well, are going to be able to tell them how to do it.
Cops are civilians. It obligates them to a way of acting, a codex of behavior that matches that status. We then give them tools that do not fit that codex of behavior. We see horrible and predictable outcomes when civilians have access to tools that do not belong to them. Sandy Hook is an example of that kind of outcome. We see them more and more frequently. I think the cops have done an amazing job with what they have been given. And, none of the deaths that are generating the protests had any connection to military weaponry.
Cops are citizens and civilians. You get to a different place being in the military. You carry it with your forever. But, once you stop wearing the uniform, once you are no longer serving under that oath, you are a civilian. You never stop being part of that thing, but you lose the codex, the impetus for your behavior. Important, that codex does not come at the end of the police academy. Nor does one just like it. Instead, an equally important and honorable codex is learned and accepted.
I appreciate the duty and dedication of our police. But, they are civilians and it is important. It is just a pet peeve, but civilian leadership crap is the bleating of groups that are completely at a loss of how to demilitarize their own neighbors and children. We continue to ask the police to be different, but not the communities that generate the violence and upheaval and criminality that bring such heightened tragic outcomes. That is where we need good civilian leadership. And not the kind in a 3 piece suit reading his prepared remarks at a podium, but the kind that show the way to a job, an education, self respect and contribution to the community. It won't be found following Limbaugh or Sharpton around either.
I love the military and the police. I pray for them and desire their safety and well being. I love you alll.
Cops are civilians. They have a special job, they have special obligations and restrictions, they were uniforms, they have guns. They have badges, handcuffs, specially painted cars, cool radio communications and stuff. What they do not have is a constitutional role as a member of the military.
They do not solemnly swear that they will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that they will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that they will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over them, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help them God.
They take oaths, they mean them, they provide a needed and very valuable and honorable service to the nation. There is nothing less important about being a police officer than being a military service member. However, there is nothing identical about it either. There are clauses in the Constitution that preclude use of the military as a policing force. The military does not have arrest and warrant powers. Until martial law is declared, the military may not utilize their weapons or force against citizens of the nation.
The reason that this sets me off so significantly is that I keep hearing we need civilian control of the police. We have it, they are all civilians. A healthy chunk of them are veterans, former military. Ask any police officer who was a Marine, if their fellow officers are therefor Marines. Be prepared for quite the response. It is not the possession of a gun and uniform that makes you part of the military. It is oaths, it is tradition, it is responsibilities and Constitutional duties and authority.
The conglomeration of "concerned" citizens that succeeded in moving forward some racial profiling legislation today utilized this poorly informed tripe of an excuse as to why their legislation is important. Looking into the camera, this middle aged gentleman claimed in ominous tones that the injustice that is occurring is because of the lack of civilian control of the police. We, here in North Carolina, have obviously abrogated the Constitution and found some way to do something expressly prohibited. Not.
What we have done all across the nation, is provide our policing agencies with militarized weapons. Terre Haute police probably have a tank. My guess is that the New York police force probably has a stash of weaponry that rival the French. Definitely more likely to use it to win than the French as well. It is a mistake. Not that the police do not deserve the ability to compete with weapons of the criminals, that is not a mistake. That we choose to do it by refusing to do anything to control the proliferation of militarized weapons in the citizenry, that is a mistake. No one needs an AR15.
I do not disagree that citizens have the right to bear and possess arms. I do, personally. I supported and defended that right for more than 21 years. I don't need a machine gun. I don't need a suppressed, fully automated .50 calibre sniper's rifle. I don't need a grenade launcher. I don't need a mortar. The arguments that anyone does are absurd and just plain ridiculous. But, instead of taking a common sense stand, and limiting these things as a first step, we have tried to hand out more of them to the cops.
I have several cops in my family. These are good folks, that I love, that I pray for, that I worry about. They have families and responsibilities and experiences. Just like all the current active duty military people I have in my family, or know very well from having served with them. The difference between them is a whole world of training and expectation. We should not ask our police to deal with civilian issues, civilian risks, and civilian realities with military tools. And we should not expect that their leaders, civilians as well, are going to be able to tell them how to do it.
Cops are civilians. It obligates them to a way of acting, a codex of behavior that matches that status. We then give them tools that do not fit that codex of behavior. We see horrible and predictable outcomes when civilians have access to tools that do not belong to them. Sandy Hook is an example of that kind of outcome. We see them more and more frequently. I think the cops have done an amazing job with what they have been given. And, none of the deaths that are generating the protests had any connection to military weaponry.
Cops are citizens and civilians. You get to a different place being in the military. You carry it with your forever. But, once you stop wearing the uniform, once you are no longer serving under that oath, you are a civilian. You never stop being part of that thing, but you lose the codex, the impetus for your behavior. Important, that codex does not come at the end of the police academy. Nor does one just like it. Instead, an equally important and honorable codex is learned and accepted.
I appreciate the duty and dedication of our police. But, they are civilians and it is important. It is just a pet peeve, but civilian leadership crap is the bleating of groups that are completely at a loss of how to demilitarize their own neighbors and children. We continue to ask the police to be different, but not the communities that generate the violence and upheaval and criminality that bring such heightened tragic outcomes. That is where we need good civilian leadership. And not the kind in a 3 piece suit reading his prepared remarks at a podium, but the kind that show the way to a job, an education, self respect and contribution to the community. It won't be found following Limbaugh or Sharpton around either.
I love the military and the police. I pray for them and desire their safety and well being. I love you alll.
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Ugliest sweater
So, no post to the blog last night. We had an ugly Christmas sweater party, and I was too worn out to write last night, when it was all said and done. I am not two weeks in, and have already missed the every day piece of this exercise. But, we had a great time, and we enjoyed our evening, our family and our wonderful friends. I wouldn't trade that for anything.
And, incidentally, I won the ugliest sweater award. I faced very stiff competition, but my overall poor fashion sense and already elevated sweater game, carried me to victory. We had a house full of people, some great food, and great times together. I was extremely tired, but extremely blessed at the end of the evening.
It served as a reminder to me that the best times are all about the people. And, honestly, so are the worst times in our lives. We are all so connected and intertwined that there is no real way to have a great time, or a horrible time, alone. I do understand that you can be alone and find a 3 pound gold nugget, or drive into an embankment, and have eventful or traumatic time. But you cannot have a great or horrible time by yourself.
Alone, there is a lacking of context, a gap of reflection that I think is important to how the time is remembered. I believe that this is hard wired into our beings, from our creation. I think that we were created to be in total communion with God. When we failed and sinned and were cast out, that piece of us still existed. It is what drives us together, makes us connect and emotionally bound. I know that there are tons of physiological and psychological factors that many good people have studied and made their doctorate around, and their best selling books.
It boils down to a basic premise that we are drawn together and need that interaction and connection with others. If it is not there in adequate amounts, bad things happen in your soul. So, I really appreciated the friends and family that came over last night and helped us do some preventative medicine on our souls. And, hoperfully on theirs as well.
We enjoyed ourselves immensely. The food was excellent, the activities were fun. I am sure that at some point soon, in this age of electronic communication, there will be a ton of pictures from lots of the people that attended. It is what we hoped for, because we wanted to have a good time.
There is too much focus around the negative interactions we have with one another. Too much time is spent on guard, and weighing and judging exactly what was meant, by what is said and done. I am not a devotee of political correct thought. I think you should treat everyone the way you would treat Jesus, and then you don't have to worry about it. But, because we are not always very good at that, and I am seldom good at it myself, we learn to keep our guard up, weigh each interaction, it uses a lot of our spiritual energy that we don't even realize we use.
What made last night most enjoyable to me, is that I don't remember one time where I stopped and wondered what did that person mean by what they just said. I just enjoyed the time together and conversation. I may have been the only one with that experience, but perhaps not. It is those evenings, those kinds of gatherings, that recharge us, and equip us to go out into the rest of our days.
It is supposed to be what church is about, what family is about, what acceptance and true relationships are about. You let your guard down, and absorb and participate in the moment, come together at a level of understanding that does not require the judgements. So, we had that, or I did at any rate. Lots of laughing, lots of smiles, a good time was had by the hosts at the very least, and it felt wonderful.
It is what this time of year is generally considered to be about. Fellowship and family, good times and peace on Earth, to all men, that kind of sentiment is everywhere. I think there is nothing wrong with that, and should be our focus on August 23rd and March 29th and September 19th and every other day as well. It would alleviate a lot of the issues we face and deal.
However, that is not the reality of this world. So, I will take what I got. We had a great time, we had wonderful fellowship, we enjoyed ourselves. That is more than enough from any one evening, whatever time of the year it is. We are going to have to see if we cannot dedicate ourselves to many more of them, spread throughout the year.
I hope that we find peace on earth, the end to hunger and a cure for diseases of all kinds. I do, even though I know it is not going to happen, at least not at this moment. But, it is enough to find peace when it is offered to you, and to recognize it and enjoy it. We did, and I hope that everyone else did as well. That is what we are supposed to be about, and I hope we all find our way to it frequently.
I love you all.
And, incidentally, I won the ugliest sweater award. I faced very stiff competition, but my overall poor fashion sense and already elevated sweater game, carried me to victory. We had a house full of people, some great food, and great times together. I was extremely tired, but extremely blessed at the end of the evening.
It served as a reminder to me that the best times are all about the people. And, honestly, so are the worst times in our lives. We are all so connected and intertwined that there is no real way to have a great time, or a horrible time, alone. I do understand that you can be alone and find a 3 pound gold nugget, or drive into an embankment, and have eventful or traumatic time. But you cannot have a great or horrible time by yourself.
Alone, there is a lacking of context, a gap of reflection that I think is important to how the time is remembered. I believe that this is hard wired into our beings, from our creation. I think that we were created to be in total communion with God. When we failed and sinned and were cast out, that piece of us still existed. It is what drives us together, makes us connect and emotionally bound. I know that there are tons of physiological and psychological factors that many good people have studied and made their doctorate around, and their best selling books.
It boils down to a basic premise that we are drawn together and need that interaction and connection with others. If it is not there in adequate amounts, bad things happen in your soul. So, I really appreciated the friends and family that came over last night and helped us do some preventative medicine on our souls. And, hoperfully on theirs as well.
We enjoyed ourselves immensely. The food was excellent, the activities were fun. I am sure that at some point soon, in this age of electronic communication, there will be a ton of pictures from lots of the people that attended. It is what we hoped for, because we wanted to have a good time.
There is too much focus around the negative interactions we have with one another. Too much time is spent on guard, and weighing and judging exactly what was meant, by what is said and done. I am not a devotee of political correct thought. I think you should treat everyone the way you would treat Jesus, and then you don't have to worry about it. But, because we are not always very good at that, and I am seldom good at it myself, we learn to keep our guard up, weigh each interaction, it uses a lot of our spiritual energy that we don't even realize we use.
What made last night most enjoyable to me, is that I don't remember one time where I stopped and wondered what did that person mean by what they just said. I just enjoyed the time together and conversation. I may have been the only one with that experience, but perhaps not. It is those evenings, those kinds of gatherings, that recharge us, and equip us to go out into the rest of our days.
It is supposed to be what church is about, what family is about, what acceptance and true relationships are about. You let your guard down, and absorb and participate in the moment, come together at a level of understanding that does not require the judgements. So, we had that, or I did at any rate. Lots of laughing, lots of smiles, a good time was had by the hosts at the very least, and it felt wonderful.
It is what this time of year is generally considered to be about. Fellowship and family, good times and peace on Earth, to all men, that kind of sentiment is everywhere. I think there is nothing wrong with that, and should be our focus on August 23rd and March 29th and September 19th and every other day as well. It would alleviate a lot of the issues we face and deal.
However, that is not the reality of this world. So, I will take what I got. We had a great time, we had wonderful fellowship, we enjoyed ourselves. That is more than enough from any one evening, whatever time of the year it is. We are going to have to see if we cannot dedicate ourselves to many more of them, spread throughout the year.
I hope that we find peace on earth, the end to hunger and a cure for diseases of all kinds. I do, even though I know it is not going to happen, at least not at this moment. But, it is enough to find peace when it is offered to you, and to recognize it and enjoy it. We did, and I hope that everyone else did as well. That is what we are supposed to be about, and I hope we all find our way to it frequently.
I love you all.
Friday, December 12, 2014
It is a proud thing
So, late start on the post tonight, because of an engagement we have been planning for quite some time. I would say I am not happy to be out of routine, but I was honored to be part of this event tonight.
I watched one of our kids graduate BLET tonight. We have four children, but we consider their significant others as ours, as well. We have a pretty full family in that regard. It is all good, we don't have an issue with the available amount of love to share.
As Dad, I can tell you that I do not always understand what makes the significant other, the significant other. I think that is true of every Dad, for every child. It is not about the significant other, it is about the Dad. I mean that in the right way, in that I don't find things wrong, I just don't understand what the attraction/relationship is all the time. Maybe it is worse for me than most Dads, because I am not the most emotionally aware person who ever lived.
But, there are times when it makes sense, even to me. And I am going to share a story of two kids tonight. They are grown, mature and capable adults, but they are my kids none the less. And, I find it a wonderful story that makes me very honored to know them.
To get through BLET, Basic Law Enforcement Training, you have to make some committments. It is going to take months, it is going to consume your entire time, it is challenging mentally and physically. These are all committments that the person attending makes.
That person's family also makes a committment, if it is going to work. The family is going to support the time, investment, committment and struggle. This is not a solitary endeavor, and the family makes the committment just as the student does, if it is going to work.
To make it work, shared struggle becomes the normal in life. There is studying, there is training, work, weird hours and fatigue. All of that has to be dealt with head on. And that is all just related to the course. What most don't take into account is that all the other gifts of life continue. There will be car trouble, house repairs, the bills have to be paid, family things happen.
I watched these two kids of ours take that committment on, for the last 4 months. We have had the proud privilege as parents, of watching them grow together and work together to overcome each of the hurdles they faced. They got better together, becasue they came together. This hugely stressful and significant thing strengthened them both as people and as a couple.
When asked what we pray about for our children, it is a very simple answer. We pray that they are safe, healthy and happy. Simply, and straightforward, we pray that God answer their needs and that they are safe, healthy and happy. BLET has the ability to take all of those away from both of these kids. They did not let it.
And, life happened completely to them during this time. It was not that they found 4 months where everything worked, and nothing complicated or intensified their issues. If it could happen, I think that it did. Yet, each time, they buckled down and focused and worked harder together. And THEY made it through. We watched them graduate tonight.
Don't take that the wrong way. I am very proud of Kevin Fuller, and what he accomplished in the classroom, on the range, and on the mats. He gave this his all, worked every weekend at his "job". He never lost sight of his dream, and he did not waver in his work and dedication to do it. His performance, improvement and growth was amazing. I know that he did that.
But, I also know that Tara worked hard with him. I know that they worked this together. Her support and help were key to him being successful. He earned his certification, and they did it together. They earned something so important for their lives together. That part makes me the proudest, I think.
I love them both. As I said, we love all our children, none more than the other. But, tonight I wanted to share that story. Watching two youngsters find their way in a positive way, in an enriching way, in a loving way is a pretty impressive thing. So, it is a very impressed, very proud Dad that I am tonight. Of all the children, for what they are doing in all their lives. They are pretty amazing, even if I am biased.
In the course of time, things will happen with all of them that I relate. Our kids are a key focus of our lives. Tonight, it was my pleasure to see a completion of a chapter of hard work and effort for two of them. It reminds me that all we go through is not just struggle. We are also part of some amazing victories with all of them.
Parents of adult children have the unenviable task of having to manage their own adult "things" plus help and worry through their children's adult "things". It is easy to just remember or focus on the hard or dangerous or critical crisis moments. Tonight, I will pray for healthy, happy and safe kids, like always. I will also pray that we pay more attention to the victories than we do the struggles. I think we forget to do that part too often.
I am very proud of Kevin, and I love that young man. I am very proud of Tara, and love that girl. I am very proud of the couple they are becoming, the partnership. And Katrina and I could not be more relieved they made it, more proud of the work we watched them do, or happy with what we saw in their faces when they were looking at each other tonight.
We are so blessed, we are so loved by God, and some moments solidify that very clearly. Tonight was one for me, and I am very thankful. We got one of those good parent moments, and we are so happpy to share it with them.
I love you all.
I watched one of our kids graduate BLET tonight. We have four children, but we consider their significant others as ours, as well. We have a pretty full family in that regard. It is all good, we don't have an issue with the available amount of love to share.
As Dad, I can tell you that I do not always understand what makes the significant other, the significant other. I think that is true of every Dad, for every child. It is not about the significant other, it is about the Dad. I mean that in the right way, in that I don't find things wrong, I just don't understand what the attraction/relationship is all the time. Maybe it is worse for me than most Dads, because I am not the most emotionally aware person who ever lived.
But, there are times when it makes sense, even to me. And I am going to share a story of two kids tonight. They are grown, mature and capable adults, but they are my kids none the less. And, I find it a wonderful story that makes me very honored to know them.
To get through BLET, Basic Law Enforcement Training, you have to make some committments. It is going to take months, it is going to consume your entire time, it is challenging mentally and physically. These are all committments that the person attending makes.
That person's family also makes a committment, if it is going to work. The family is going to support the time, investment, committment and struggle. This is not a solitary endeavor, and the family makes the committment just as the student does, if it is going to work.
To make it work, shared struggle becomes the normal in life. There is studying, there is training, work, weird hours and fatigue. All of that has to be dealt with head on. And that is all just related to the course. What most don't take into account is that all the other gifts of life continue. There will be car trouble, house repairs, the bills have to be paid, family things happen.
I watched these two kids of ours take that committment on, for the last 4 months. We have had the proud privilege as parents, of watching them grow together and work together to overcome each of the hurdles they faced. They got better together, becasue they came together. This hugely stressful and significant thing strengthened them both as people and as a couple.
When asked what we pray about for our children, it is a very simple answer. We pray that they are safe, healthy and happy. Simply, and straightforward, we pray that God answer their needs and that they are safe, healthy and happy. BLET has the ability to take all of those away from both of these kids. They did not let it.
And, life happened completely to them during this time. It was not that they found 4 months where everything worked, and nothing complicated or intensified their issues. If it could happen, I think that it did. Yet, each time, they buckled down and focused and worked harder together. And THEY made it through. We watched them graduate tonight.
Don't take that the wrong way. I am very proud of Kevin Fuller, and what he accomplished in the classroom, on the range, and on the mats. He gave this his all, worked every weekend at his "job". He never lost sight of his dream, and he did not waver in his work and dedication to do it. His performance, improvement and growth was amazing. I know that he did that.
But, I also know that Tara worked hard with him. I know that they worked this together. Her support and help were key to him being successful. He earned his certification, and they did it together. They earned something so important for their lives together. That part makes me the proudest, I think.
I love them both. As I said, we love all our children, none more than the other. But, tonight I wanted to share that story. Watching two youngsters find their way in a positive way, in an enriching way, in a loving way is a pretty impressive thing. So, it is a very impressed, very proud Dad that I am tonight. Of all the children, for what they are doing in all their lives. They are pretty amazing, even if I am biased.
In the course of time, things will happen with all of them that I relate. Our kids are a key focus of our lives. Tonight, it was my pleasure to see a completion of a chapter of hard work and effort for two of them. It reminds me that all we go through is not just struggle. We are also part of some amazing victories with all of them.
Parents of adult children have the unenviable task of having to manage their own adult "things" plus help and worry through their children's adult "things". It is easy to just remember or focus on the hard or dangerous or critical crisis moments. Tonight, I will pray for healthy, happy and safe kids, like always. I will also pray that we pay more attention to the victories than we do the struggles. I think we forget to do that part too often.
I am very proud of Kevin, and I love that young man. I am very proud of Tara, and love that girl. I am very proud of the couple they are becoming, the partnership. And Katrina and I could not be more relieved they made it, more proud of the work we watched them do, or happy with what we saw in their faces when they were looking at each other tonight.
We are so blessed, we are so loved by God, and some moments solidify that very clearly. Tonight was one for me, and I am very thankful. We got one of those good parent moments, and we are so happpy to share it with them.
I love you all.
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Count your blessings
I don't know why God chooses to bless us in the ways that He does. I don't know that any of us can undersand it. At the very least, we lost the ability to process and comprehend it in a meaningful way, when that incident in the Garden of Eden happened. Because of that distance that was put between us and God, we lost the understanding closeness brings.
I was thinking about this today because I was thinking about my family. I know that we are not Rockerfellers or DuPonts. I know that we are not doctors and lawyers. And I know that we are not perfectly well behaved. Knowing all of this, however, does not change the fact that I think we are blessed beyond measure.
We are not without our challenges and problems. Blessings don't work that way. They do not come as a repayment for suffering, nor as a prepayment for trouble. It is not a quid pro quo kind of relationship with God, where the Blessing Machine spins and sends you something after a particularly bad day. Blessings from God come from our investment in Him.
For most, that realization causes distance in their relationship with God. If you want peace in your life, you are going to have to spend time finding peace with God. If you want happiness in your life, you are going to have to spend time finding happiness in God. If you want security, you have to find security in faith. If you want certainty, you better figure out what the one certain thing in the universe is. These are all vulnerable positions for humans, where you have to be the lesser within the relationship. You have to admit need, and inability to supply that need yourself.
If you can figure your way to doing that, and it is very, very hard, you break down the barriers that sin put into the world in Eden. You also become a person that has access to the blessings of God. Blessings from God do not come to everyone, in my opinion. I think that good and bad things happen to everyone. It is not that God allows or prohibits things, it is that sin has warped the world. Because of that, the order and precedence of things God established at the creation is fractured and damaged. It is still however, a world created and orderd by a God that abhors chaos and waste. There seems to me, that there is a balance, that even sin cannot destroy.
The fact that bad people, and we are all bad people, have good things happen to them is not proof of the love of God. It is just proof that God created a world that is too beautiful to be destroyed by sin. This is a required opinion, because it makes the logical corollary true. If there were good people, they would have bad things happen to them. It is a function of the fall, not of the whimsy of God.
I am saved, by and through the grace of Christ. I did nothing so far in my life to deserve it. There is nothing that I will ever do in my life to deserve it. However, it is a done deal, bought and paid for, through no action of my own. That means God loves me, more than I can imagine, more permanently than I can fathom, and with a love too pure for me to conceive. Nothing I do will change that, ever.
And, in that realization, comes the understanding of blessings. God does not have to give us anything, but He gives us everything. We would receive it, regardless of our attitude about it. What makes these good things a blessing, in my opinion, is that knowledge of relationship with God. I am not theologian enough to cite the dogma and verse. I just know that the knowledge of what is reflected in me, when I receive good from God, is important.
I do not think, or propose that God gives us bad. I think that is an impossibility, but I live with the knowledge that God has allowed bad to come to me, when it does. There is not anything about God that is bad, so I cannot dump the bad in my life on His door. But, He has allowed it to come, because I am a sinner. I do not have the right attitude and relationship with Him constantly.
God, His grace and presence, shine through me when I recognize who is primary in our relationship. When I see the world as a servant, and as His servant especially, I begin to look through the prism that lights the world from God. I feel better about me, which makes me see my condition correctly, and clearly. It is then that I see what God intends me to to see.
Peace is not just the absence of turmoil, but the comforting blanket of God's presence. My home becomes a house of love, because you can feel the love of God within it. My soul becomes calm, because I am within the confines of God's will, and nothing can overcome that.
Notice, that at no point did I suggest that God blesses me with money, or fame, or things. I do not think that God cares about money. There is no mention of a Tree of Money in the Garden. Satan did not offer man money, when we were still perfectly attuned with God. Satan offered us knowledge, and we threw eternity away for it. Beecause that is what God treasures most, and we need most. That has not changed because of sin.
So, today, I counted blessings, love, family, faith, hope, peace. I found them in my life, and reflected in the lives around me. The light of God shines in all of us, the blessing is in seeing it. Knowing it is shining out of you is the real blessing. God counted your blessings today, so should you. It is a wonderful feeling to know you are that loved.
I love you all.
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Blessings beyond measure
Today has been a day of blessings. It has been tremendous and amazing and awesome to see the answers to so many prayers coming together at one time. I won't steal the chance of others to let everyone know what is happening. And, the details are not actually significant to the post I am writing.
We, Katrina and I, have prayed together for and over our family. We have repeatedly and completely given some of these things over to God. These are things that are not small by any measure. We were not blessed by having gotten rid of the blight on one of our gardenias. We are talking about career paths, relationships, family, life-altering things.
We have been praying for months for some of these things, for our family. We have been persistent with God, and hopefully, persistent in the right ways and for the right things. We have not been praying to win the lottery, but for the basic directions and securities in life that we are supposed to rely on the Lord to provide.
I will not put words in Katrina's mouth, and her faith is of a much more certain and enveloping variety than mine. But, I was struggling with how to communicate with God. I mean, clearly there was a need to be different in how I approached the Lord, as it was not working to my timeline. I was not doubting what God could do, but I was beginning to wonder what God would do. That is a huge difference, could and would. And, not a comfortable place for a man that measures the world by data, metrics and certain cause and effect.
Perhaps it is the most human of reactions, to wonder why your timeline is so different from God's, and why you do not see the situation in the same way as God. I find that faith is the only thing that fills that void of wonder and confusion. However or whyever the Lord does what He does, we are here to serve Him, not the other way around. I think I was forgetting that last piece.
We are told to take everything to the Lord in prayer, and to submit completely to the will of God concerning yourself. Yep, that is what we are told, and what I have tried to do. But, it would be a complete lie to say I have been able to just do that. It is not so simple, for me, to just let it go to God. I am compelled to act on things that require solution, it makes me good in my career, good in my hobbies, and good at most things I try in life. It is part of me.
Some of these blessings we have received, I started praying for daily when Katrina and I were on our honeymoon. For almost a year, I have been asking God for these things consistently, and a huge helping of comfort and peace in leaving that in the hands of the Lord. That second part has been hard on me. I am thankful God gave me enough comfort and enough peace, to stay on track and to live within His timeline.
I am beyond grateful for these things we have received, the entire family. We don't deserve them, and certainly have not earned them in God's eyes. Yet He still was faithful to our needs, on His schedule and in His ways. It is instructive, though I should not have needed the instruction. God has been good to me and our family, always. Still, I was not able to easily trust in Him.
It may be that is the least human reaciton, to unhesitantly and unequivocably trust in God. Had it been a simple attribute, either Eve or Adam would not have eaten from that tree. I did not get a bigger helping of trusting God. It takes work and focus and daily reinforcement. We have been, and remain, wonderfully blessed in our day to day lives. We are HAPPY! We are loving. We see the children as often as we can. We have a church home.
I will continue to pray, and at least for tonight, it will be prayers of thanks and praise. We will move on to new requests and pleadings to the Lord. We are too needy to go more than a day or two without asking for something we really, really want. (Sometime we even develop a need for what we are requesting.) But, tonight I needed to make it known that God has been wonderful to us today.
I think that He is wonderful to us every day, and we pray for eyes to see that. But, though we often do not see it clearly, I know it is there. Today it is very clear. And, I am very thankful and very thoughtful. I hope we continue to pray hard, we continue to rely on the Lord, and that our lives are a blessing to all.
I love you all.
We, Katrina and I, have prayed together for and over our family. We have repeatedly and completely given some of these things over to God. These are things that are not small by any measure. We were not blessed by having gotten rid of the blight on one of our gardenias. We are talking about career paths, relationships, family, life-altering things.
We have been praying for months for some of these things, for our family. We have been persistent with God, and hopefully, persistent in the right ways and for the right things. We have not been praying to win the lottery, but for the basic directions and securities in life that we are supposed to rely on the Lord to provide.
I will not put words in Katrina's mouth, and her faith is of a much more certain and enveloping variety than mine. But, I was struggling with how to communicate with God. I mean, clearly there was a need to be different in how I approached the Lord, as it was not working to my timeline. I was not doubting what God could do, but I was beginning to wonder what God would do. That is a huge difference, could and would. And, not a comfortable place for a man that measures the world by data, metrics and certain cause and effect.
Perhaps it is the most human of reactions, to wonder why your timeline is so different from God's, and why you do not see the situation in the same way as God. I find that faith is the only thing that fills that void of wonder and confusion. However or whyever the Lord does what He does, we are here to serve Him, not the other way around. I think I was forgetting that last piece.
We are told to take everything to the Lord in prayer, and to submit completely to the will of God concerning yourself. Yep, that is what we are told, and what I have tried to do. But, it would be a complete lie to say I have been able to just do that. It is not so simple, for me, to just let it go to God. I am compelled to act on things that require solution, it makes me good in my career, good in my hobbies, and good at most things I try in life. It is part of me.
Some of these blessings we have received, I started praying for daily when Katrina and I were on our honeymoon. For almost a year, I have been asking God for these things consistently, and a huge helping of comfort and peace in leaving that in the hands of the Lord. That second part has been hard on me. I am thankful God gave me enough comfort and enough peace, to stay on track and to live within His timeline.
I am beyond grateful for these things we have received, the entire family. We don't deserve them, and certainly have not earned them in God's eyes. Yet He still was faithful to our needs, on His schedule and in His ways. It is instructive, though I should not have needed the instruction. God has been good to me and our family, always. Still, I was not able to easily trust in Him.
It may be that is the least human reaciton, to unhesitantly and unequivocably trust in God. Had it been a simple attribute, either Eve or Adam would not have eaten from that tree. I did not get a bigger helping of trusting God. It takes work and focus and daily reinforcement. We have been, and remain, wonderfully blessed in our day to day lives. We are HAPPY! We are loving. We see the children as often as we can. We have a church home.
I will continue to pray, and at least for tonight, it will be prayers of thanks and praise. We will move on to new requests and pleadings to the Lord. We are too needy to go more than a day or two without asking for something we really, really want. (Sometime we even develop a need for what we are requesting.) But, tonight I needed to make it known that God has been wonderful to us today.
I think that He is wonderful to us every day, and we pray for eyes to see that. But, though we often do not see it clearly, I know it is there. Today it is very clear. And, I am very thankful and very thoughtful. I hope we continue to pray hard, we continue to rely on the Lord, and that our lives are a blessing to all.
I love you all.
It takes a child
Being that I am a fairly well read man, I have considered myself well-informed, knowledgeable, in some case even expert. What I really am is a guy with a good memory for information. What I am is a person with an excellent talent at recalling that information. I believe that every human brain imprints everything as memory. Those who have good memories just have better ability to recall the information that is there, on demand.
Irregardless of that unsubstantiated medical opinion, I had begun to question how well informed I was about certain things. In particular, I was wondering how informed I actually was about anything I had expressed opinion on recently. It is not that I don't think I am entitled to an opinion about it, but I feel more entitled if I actually have some knowledge to inform that opinion.
Beyond that, I have started to wonder about the things that I felt sure about. How much did I really know, or was I just assuming I knew things that were not facts. I don't like portraying things as facts that I do not know to be factual. Today, while very busy and focused at work, did have a period of time where we talked about children and raising and schools. I had a breakfast conversation with the son of a teacher and the husband of a teacher. As a father of a teacher, we had a very knowledgeable group from the outside looking inward.
Many of the things we discussed kept relating back to the current topic of outrage in the country, the impact of race on police activities. We, interestingly, all had some exposure to law enforcement, and people that were active in it, as well. As we talked, I found myself citing numbers I had heard on TV, and it hit me that I had only ever heard them. I had no idea whether they were accurate or not.
I did some digging. The internet has an accuracy problem, you can't believe everything that shows up on your screen. But, the numbers were remarkably consistent. I even looked it up through MSNBC and Fox News search engines. I found the numbers to be almost identical. The hysteria around explaining why those numbers existed was completely at odds, but I expected that.
What struck me, and made me write tonight, was not much about the whole political debate. What broke my heart was that there was not this huge data scatter, that would allow the numbers we all hear repeated, to be wrong. I wanted them to be very wrong. 1 in 3 black males will do time. 1 in 17 white men will. Graduation rates for minority groups are in general, less than half that of whites. Black males are 6% of the total population in this country. They are 40-50% of the prison population. Hispanic incarceration rates are double that of whites.
Part of what got me to this post was watching the news and seeing the basketball players wearing the "I can't breathe." shirts. And, hearing the debate going on around it, about whether it was appropriate or not. I could do six of thes posts on that topic, I have opinions believe me. But, what just devistates me, is what is not part of the conversation, what will not seem to catch American attention. We have not debated why those men dribbling basketballs were not part of the 1 in how many that end up in prison.
I found that information on a different web page. I have not confirmed this, but it seems like what the government would do. We base the size of prisons, decisions to build, around 3rd grade literacy rates. If you are behind the curve there, there is supposedly a directly attributable possibility of incarceration in your future. I hope it shocks no one to know that blacks and hispanics are scoring less in literacy at the 3rd grade level than whites.
Here is where this becomes a blog post and my opinion. I don't think that is a race causation. I think it is a poverty causation. I think that is an easily broken cycle, and criminal that it exists in our nation, at this time. There is nothing more urgent to fix in this country, either.
I watched the news with really tall, really athletic black men dribbling a basketball for their living. Some really uninspired news that they would have opinions like all the rest of us. But, they have missed the golden opportunity, perhaps of their lives, and they don't recognize it. And, I mean that as no disrespect to them, or condemnation. We are, none of us, thinking about it correctly.
At some point, we are going to have to find a connection to the communities of poverty that enforces the need for education, the crucial need for knowledge. It is not black, white or brown in focus. It is survival in focus. There are 20 commercials an hour about not hitting your wife or kids, because of the domestic abuse situation in the NFL. Wouldn't it be wonderful, if you could find and sustain that level of commitment to urge our children to study, to make knowledge important to them? Instead of doing damage control, what if we did horizon broadening?
How do you impact 3rd grade literacy? You have to do it at home. You have to do it by impacting the parents/guardians. You have to change the minds and attitudes that are providing the daily reinforcement and formation to the child. Children are reflections and images of their formative adults. This is how we were created. We are children and reflections and images of God. It is not some new age hippie talk to realize that is true when applied to parent and child.
I could suggest things that are impossible. We could tie assistance eligibility to children literacy rates. To keep your rent assistance, energy assistance, food assistance, you have to make sure your child can read, write and cipher. And if the parent can't do that, because they can't read and write, we could make the programs available to teach the parent. We could make it prosecutable, to have a child that is not adequately prepared to achieve their potential. We could do a lof of things, but it won't be any of them. Those are not going to happen, and I would not advocate all of them.
We cannot figure this out, because we cannot figure out how to get back to an American icon and ideal that propelled us to be the leaders of the world. We made education available, without qualification, to all of our children. We made it mandatory. Until you are legally of age, you had to attend that school, you had to be part of the process. We expected teachers to teach, children to learn, and that there would be norms of behaviour and decorum upheld.
This system did not produce an entire society of degrees and doctorates. It did not produce more capable doctors or engineers. What it did was to create and reinforce the idea that learning was necessary. We told our children, as a whole, that they had to learn to spell their name, add up enough numbers to know if their pay check was right, read enough to know what they were signing in a business transaction. We did not ask them to do it. We did not hope they would do it. We told them they had to do it. And if they did not do enough of it to earn the grade, they repeated and kept at it until they got it. We showed them there were things in life important enough to work to get, no matter how hard.
Now, it did not work with all of them. Nothing will make it completely successful. But, we have now "progressed" to the point where we cannot retain students because of social age pressure, so your grades don't matter. We cannot fail them if they can't read their test paper, we get someone to read it to them, so it is not your responsibility to get to some level of acceptable performance. We medicate them to oblivion when they won't sit still, because your behavior is about chemistry and not expectations. We do lots of things out of a sense of compassion that, in my opinion, are actually cruel.
If you cannot manage public school, to the point of functional math and language literacy, you are not going to manage life. The great advancement of the American system was that we created a culture of accomplishment, early in life, by mandating school, mandating success in that arena. It was not perfect, but it installed in the nation a realization that somethings have to be done, have to be earned. You could did not get your trophy for just being on the team. You had to get the grade. You figured out that if you lost, you lost to yourself.
We have had poverty always, crushing poverty. We had drastic disparity of wealth. We had ecologic issues and fights over resources. We had political upheaval. We had segregation due to race. All of this was true, but we educated our children and each successive generation brought forward additional American advances and greatness. Now, we struggle to find where those advances will come from.
That last, about segregation, is important. That was shameful, and we don't want that shame any more. So, to avoid racial stigma, we have allowed poverty to be the agent of segregation, not race. How is that possible Joe? It says on the news all the time, black kids get pulled over more often than white kids. I think this is where the data lies. I think poor kids get pulled over way more often. Unfortunately, there is a much greater proportion of poor minitorities. I think that it is therefor true that blacks/hispanics "get it" more often than whites. But it is because of we have segregated our society by economics, and it accomplished an almost identical result as when we were doing it by race. with one amazing difference.
Now, the majority of society (not so poverty stricken), can have minority friends in our neighborhoods, our work places and our churches. They are good people, and we get to think "See how far we have come." We can absolve the shame. "If you want to choose to be worthless, live in the ghetto on food stamps and welfare, do drugs and act like an animal, then go do it." We don't own any responsibility for that. "It is not on me, that is your CHOICE!" How many of those conversations have you heard? I have been in hundreds, usually the loudest in the conversation.
What we do own, however, is a responsibility to keep that choice from repeating in succeeding generations. We own doing something that gives children with little hope some viable options. We own at least having an honest conversation that we don't hide behind race. We own exploring how to make it better, not just bemoan how bad it is.
See, when a cop sees a car with 5 poor kids sitting in it, he/she is going to pull it over. The cops knows that the odds are very good that at least one poor kid in that car will have warrants, and likely at least one will have drugs. How does the cop know this? It is a probability thing, it works. If we start impacting poverty and literacy, if we start making a way and a path for the parents of our youngest, poorest children to have acces to systems and help that make them different, we change the probability. When you write it poor kids, doesn't it even sound altruistic. Help the needy, here is how.
Now if we say that when a cop sees a car with 5 black males in it, he/she is going to pull it over. The cops know that the odds are very good that at least one black kid will have warrants, and likely one will have drugs. How does the cop know this? It is a probability thing. Now we are discussing racial profiling. We are talking about two different things, and I am not suggesting there is not racism, or people that are biased and motivated by their emotions around skin color/religion/language. I know it exists and is real, but I also know that it becomes inconsequential if you fix the root of the issue.
Getting the cops to stop pulling that car over is one thing, but it does not change that potential warrant, or those potential drugs. Even if we could eliminate racial profiling tomorrow, it will not change the cycle of violence and dependancy that is driving the frustraion and rage that we see on the news. It is my considered opinion that 95% of cops don't care what color a person is, but every cop knows that a young black male is much more likely to have had a criminal issue than a white kid. It is not because the cop doesn't like blacks. That may very well be true, but I think it is much less profound than we suppose. It is because the numbers are what the numbers are.
And, it is not because white kids are less likely to be troublesome or drug users than black or hispanic kids. Kids are all likely to be troublesome, it is a maturity thing, not a race thing. Cops know that as well. It is ridiculous to continue to suggest that eliminating the prism of race is where our focus needs to be. When we make opportunities equal, when we start changing social expectations, we will change outcome behaviour, for whites, blacks and browns. When we address why the poor are poor, we address the prism of race.
When you saw that I was hungry, you fed me. When you saw that I was cold, you clothed me. Familiar lines from Jesus. That is what we are missing, to all of our disservice. We need to come back to what Jesus taught us, but in meaningful ways, in the communities of greatest risk. And, then we stop driving the cycle of frustration and underachievement. We stop what drives the action on the street.
What we get out of it is so massive, so important, that it will revolutionize our world again. We could stop it so easily. But, we will not with the systems and organizations we have today, the way they are. Ask a teacher. If you want to end racism in your liftetime, as a teacher how to make 3rd graders read better. I guarantee if we listened, and acted, we could do it. The capacity of humans to be amazing is unlimited, as we are children of an unlimited God. We just have to act on it.
I love you all.
Irregardless of that unsubstantiated medical opinion, I had begun to question how well informed I was about certain things. In particular, I was wondering how informed I actually was about anything I had expressed opinion on recently. It is not that I don't think I am entitled to an opinion about it, but I feel more entitled if I actually have some knowledge to inform that opinion.
Beyond that, I have started to wonder about the things that I felt sure about. How much did I really know, or was I just assuming I knew things that were not facts. I don't like portraying things as facts that I do not know to be factual. Today, while very busy and focused at work, did have a period of time where we talked about children and raising and schools. I had a breakfast conversation with the son of a teacher and the husband of a teacher. As a father of a teacher, we had a very knowledgeable group from the outside looking inward.
Many of the things we discussed kept relating back to the current topic of outrage in the country, the impact of race on police activities. We, interestingly, all had some exposure to law enforcement, and people that were active in it, as well. As we talked, I found myself citing numbers I had heard on TV, and it hit me that I had only ever heard them. I had no idea whether they were accurate or not.
I did some digging. The internet has an accuracy problem, you can't believe everything that shows up on your screen. But, the numbers were remarkably consistent. I even looked it up through MSNBC and Fox News search engines. I found the numbers to be almost identical. The hysteria around explaining why those numbers existed was completely at odds, but I expected that.
What struck me, and made me write tonight, was not much about the whole political debate. What broke my heart was that there was not this huge data scatter, that would allow the numbers we all hear repeated, to be wrong. I wanted them to be very wrong. 1 in 3 black males will do time. 1 in 17 white men will. Graduation rates for minority groups are in general, less than half that of whites. Black males are 6% of the total population in this country. They are 40-50% of the prison population. Hispanic incarceration rates are double that of whites.
Part of what got me to this post was watching the news and seeing the basketball players wearing the "I can't breathe." shirts. And, hearing the debate going on around it, about whether it was appropriate or not. I could do six of thes posts on that topic, I have opinions believe me. But, what just devistates me, is what is not part of the conversation, what will not seem to catch American attention. We have not debated why those men dribbling basketballs were not part of the 1 in how many that end up in prison.
I found that information on a different web page. I have not confirmed this, but it seems like what the government would do. We base the size of prisons, decisions to build, around 3rd grade literacy rates. If you are behind the curve there, there is supposedly a directly attributable possibility of incarceration in your future. I hope it shocks no one to know that blacks and hispanics are scoring less in literacy at the 3rd grade level than whites.
Here is where this becomes a blog post and my opinion. I don't think that is a race causation. I think it is a poverty causation. I think that is an easily broken cycle, and criminal that it exists in our nation, at this time. There is nothing more urgent to fix in this country, either.
I watched the news with really tall, really athletic black men dribbling a basketball for their living. Some really uninspired news that they would have opinions like all the rest of us. But, they have missed the golden opportunity, perhaps of their lives, and they don't recognize it. And, I mean that as no disrespect to them, or condemnation. We are, none of us, thinking about it correctly.
At some point, we are going to have to find a connection to the communities of poverty that enforces the need for education, the crucial need for knowledge. It is not black, white or brown in focus. It is survival in focus. There are 20 commercials an hour about not hitting your wife or kids, because of the domestic abuse situation in the NFL. Wouldn't it be wonderful, if you could find and sustain that level of commitment to urge our children to study, to make knowledge important to them? Instead of doing damage control, what if we did horizon broadening?
How do you impact 3rd grade literacy? You have to do it at home. You have to do it by impacting the parents/guardians. You have to change the minds and attitudes that are providing the daily reinforcement and formation to the child. Children are reflections and images of their formative adults. This is how we were created. We are children and reflections and images of God. It is not some new age hippie talk to realize that is true when applied to parent and child.
I could suggest things that are impossible. We could tie assistance eligibility to children literacy rates. To keep your rent assistance, energy assistance, food assistance, you have to make sure your child can read, write and cipher. And if the parent can't do that, because they can't read and write, we could make the programs available to teach the parent. We could make it prosecutable, to have a child that is not adequately prepared to achieve their potential. We could do a lof of things, but it won't be any of them. Those are not going to happen, and I would not advocate all of them.
We cannot figure this out, because we cannot figure out how to get back to an American icon and ideal that propelled us to be the leaders of the world. We made education available, without qualification, to all of our children. We made it mandatory. Until you are legally of age, you had to attend that school, you had to be part of the process. We expected teachers to teach, children to learn, and that there would be norms of behaviour and decorum upheld.
This system did not produce an entire society of degrees and doctorates. It did not produce more capable doctors or engineers. What it did was to create and reinforce the idea that learning was necessary. We told our children, as a whole, that they had to learn to spell their name, add up enough numbers to know if their pay check was right, read enough to know what they were signing in a business transaction. We did not ask them to do it. We did not hope they would do it. We told them they had to do it. And if they did not do enough of it to earn the grade, they repeated and kept at it until they got it. We showed them there were things in life important enough to work to get, no matter how hard.
Now, it did not work with all of them. Nothing will make it completely successful. But, we have now "progressed" to the point where we cannot retain students because of social age pressure, so your grades don't matter. We cannot fail them if they can't read their test paper, we get someone to read it to them, so it is not your responsibility to get to some level of acceptable performance. We medicate them to oblivion when they won't sit still, because your behavior is about chemistry and not expectations. We do lots of things out of a sense of compassion that, in my opinion, are actually cruel.
If you cannot manage public school, to the point of functional math and language literacy, you are not going to manage life. The great advancement of the American system was that we created a culture of accomplishment, early in life, by mandating school, mandating success in that arena. It was not perfect, but it installed in the nation a realization that somethings have to be done, have to be earned. You could did not get your trophy for just being on the team. You had to get the grade. You figured out that if you lost, you lost to yourself.
We have had poverty always, crushing poverty. We had drastic disparity of wealth. We had ecologic issues and fights over resources. We had political upheaval. We had segregation due to race. All of this was true, but we educated our children and each successive generation brought forward additional American advances and greatness. Now, we struggle to find where those advances will come from.
That last, about segregation, is important. That was shameful, and we don't want that shame any more. So, to avoid racial stigma, we have allowed poverty to be the agent of segregation, not race. How is that possible Joe? It says on the news all the time, black kids get pulled over more often than white kids. I think this is where the data lies. I think poor kids get pulled over way more often. Unfortunately, there is a much greater proportion of poor minitorities. I think that it is therefor true that blacks/hispanics "get it" more often than whites. But it is because of we have segregated our society by economics, and it accomplished an almost identical result as when we were doing it by race. with one amazing difference.
Now, the majority of society (not so poverty stricken), can have minority friends in our neighborhoods, our work places and our churches. They are good people, and we get to think "See how far we have come." We can absolve the shame. "If you want to choose to be worthless, live in the ghetto on food stamps and welfare, do drugs and act like an animal, then go do it." We don't own any responsibility for that. "It is not on me, that is your CHOICE!" How many of those conversations have you heard? I have been in hundreds, usually the loudest in the conversation.
What we do own, however, is a responsibility to keep that choice from repeating in succeeding generations. We own doing something that gives children with little hope some viable options. We own at least having an honest conversation that we don't hide behind race. We own exploring how to make it better, not just bemoan how bad it is.
See, when a cop sees a car with 5 poor kids sitting in it, he/she is going to pull it over. The cops knows that the odds are very good that at least one poor kid in that car will have warrants, and likely at least one will have drugs. How does the cop know this? It is a probability thing, it works. If we start impacting poverty and literacy, if we start making a way and a path for the parents of our youngest, poorest children to have acces to systems and help that make them different, we change the probability. When you write it poor kids, doesn't it even sound altruistic. Help the needy, here is how.
Now if we say that when a cop sees a car with 5 black males in it, he/she is going to pull it over. The cops know that the odds are very good that at least one black kid will have warrants, and likely one will have drugs. How does the cop know this? It is a probability thing. Now we are discussing racial profiling. We are talking about two different things, and I am not suggesting there is not racism, or people that are biased and motivated by their emotions around skin color/religion/language. I know it exists and is real, but I also know that it becomes inconsequential if you fix the root of the issue.
Getting the cops to stop pulling that car over is one thing, but it does not change that potential warrant, or those potential drugs. Even if we could eliminate racial profiling tomorrow, it will not change the cycle of violence and dependancy that is driving the frustraion and rage that we see on the news. It is my considered opinion that 95% of cops don't care what color a person is, but every cop knows that a young black male is much more likely to have had a criminal issue than a white kid. It is not because the cop doesn't like blacks. That may very well be true, but I think it is much less profound than we suppose. It is because the numbers are what the numbers are.
And, it is not because white kids are less likely to be troublesome or drug users than black or hispanic kids. Kids are all likely to be troublesome, it is a maturity thing, not a race thing. Cops know that as well. It is ridiculous to continue to suggest that eliminating the prism of race is where our focus needs to be. When we make opportunities equal, when we start changing social expectations, we will change outcome behaviour, for whites, blacks and browns. When we address why the poor are poor, we address the prism of race.
When you saw that I was hungry, you fed me. When you saw that I was cold, you clothed me. Familiar lines from Jesus. That is what we are missing, to all of our disservice. We need to come back to what Jesus taught us, but in meaningful ways, in the communities of greatest risk. And, then we stop driving the cycle of frustration and underachievement. We stop what drives the action on the street.
What we get out of it is so massive, so important, that it will revolutionize our world again. We could stop it so easily. But, we will not with the systems and organizations we have today, the way they are. Ask a teacher. If you want to end racism in your liftetime, as a teacher how to make 3rd graders read better. I guarantee if we listened, and acted, we could do it. The capacity of humans to be amazing is unlimited, as we are children of an unlimited God. We just have to act on it.
I love you all.
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